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Yes, I always dreamed of being a mother. Since I was a child I didn’t think about being successful, studying hard or traveling all over the world, I really wanted to be a mother. My dream was growing up in my youth and peaked when I got married, at the age of twenty. My husband and I decided to wait a bit, to enjoy the first years of marriage. It took almost three years to make the most important decision of our lives and put the pill aside. When we decided we already had the names of the babies, if it were a boy it would be Arthur and if it were a girl Isabelle.
In the first month I thought it would be normal for nothing to happen, in the second also there in the third one started to beat that anxiety… on the visit to the gynecologist I found something that I actually already knew, the cysts on my ovary would make everything difficult and the dream of getting pregnant certainly would have to wait a little longer. The doctor explained that even a year could be normal, after that it was a reason to think about treatment. Well, it’s been four months, five, six … after a year I went back to the office. Nothing had changed, the cysts were still there and my ovulation was completely unregulated. I started taking a medicine for people with diabetes (I don’t remember the name anymore), he told me it would help prevent the formation of new cysts and would regulate my menstrual cycle. I took three months and then decided to stop. I looked for an orthomolecular nutritionist, started to exercise and lost 12kg. They say that weight loss for people with cysts can help, and helped.
It was two years of a lot of crying, sadness, expectation and plans. I don’t remember for sure how many pregnancy tests I did during that period, I just know that the pharmacy attendant already knew what I was doing there every month, without me having to say anything. I prayed so much, I asked God so much that when I tell all this I cry always, everything again. It is impossible to explain the feeling that grips the heart when you see that having a child seems impossible. I never wanted to do insemination or anything like that. I have no prejudice against those who do it, but I wanted my baby to come in God’s time, you know? The moment I had to come.
At the beginning of May 2012 my period was delayed as usual. To release conscience (because I was doing weight training) I decided to do one more test. When I woke up very early I peed, I waited and for a change nothing … just a stripe. Then when I was going to sleep, I decided to take another look (holy look) and a second stripe appeared, very weak. What cruel question, was it or was it not? I got ready, got my things and told my husband I was going to work early. I passed the lab and did a blood test. The result would come out in the late afternoon. That day never passed. I didn’t even have a proper lunch, in fact I couldn’t do anything right that day. When I stopped by to pick it up and opened the envelope, I only saw numbers and more numbers … looking calmly, there was no doubt, I was four weeks old.
It was such a joy that I didn’t know if I was laughing, crying, screaming at four winds and if it was really real. I ran out and bought pillowcases with the phrases: “the best dad in the world is mine”, “the best grandma in the world is mine” and “the best grandpa in the world is mine”. I took it to each of them. When my husband opened the gift he started to cry, the same reaction of my father and my in-laws. My mother at first didn’t understand anything, then it was just joy.
I could write here that everything was perfect, but in fact it wasn’t quite like that. A week later I suffered a threat of miscarriage when I was working. I needed to rest and started taking medication to fix the baby in the womb. I continued until the four months of gestation. That same month, tragic news shook our family, my 23-year-old brother-in-law was shot to death in the heart of a traffic dispute. It was a hurricane of emotions and situations that I never imagined going through my life, especially when I was pregnant. Being with my husband at that time was very difficult. His suffering was so great … but God is good. Nobody got over what happened, but the Lord calmed their hearts. That same month we discovered that we were expecting a beautiful little girl, the princess of our home. Things have calmed down.
Isabelle was born at the right time, with 3kg120 and 48cm of pure beauty and hair. She was born very hairy, hahaha … That’s when I understood that that unconditional love that I have waited my whole life to feel, was born with her. I am not going to write here that it was wonderful, it was learning. Isa suffered from the so-called colic of the three months, and she cried more than she slept. I was unable to breastfeed, she had difficulty in getting the breast and the milk was slow to come down. Experiences…
With all the property in the world, today I can say that being a mother is the best, biggest and most incredible thing that can happen to a woman. It is indescribable. But it is not a bed of roses. Being a mother means growing up the moment your baby gives his first cry. It is to stop sleeping to take care of the little one. Eat when and how you want. It is crying with him when everyone says there is no remedy for the problem. It is to love in such a big and intense way that no words can describe it. To summarize the story: Isabelle is a gift from God that came at the right time and was strong enough to face all difficulties. She is a winner, the most beautiful and hairy I have ever met.
Journalist, wife and mother. Of all the activities being a mother is the best and most rewarding of them.
Karolline Paim
See also: Being a Mother for the First Time – Problems We Can Find on the Way
My name is Dr. Alexis Hart I am 38 years old, I am the mother of 3 beautiful children! Different ages, different phases 16 years, 12 years and 7 years. In love with motherhood since always, I found it difficult to make my dreams come true, and also some more after I was already a mother.
Since I imagined myself as a mother, in my thoughts everything seemed to be much easier and simpler than it really was, I expected to get pregnant as soon as I wished, but it wasn’t that simple. The first pregnancy was smooth, but my daughter’s birth was very troubled. Joana was born in 2002 with a weight of 2930kg and 45cm, from a very peaceful cesarean delivery but she had already been born with congenital pneumonia due to a broken bag not treated with antibiotics even before delivery.
