It is important to talk about sex with children, however, for many parents it is embarrassing. How to talk about sex with children? When is the best time to talk to them? Should I answer any questions they ask? These and other doubts arise for parents when it comes to sex, and they often fail to have a natural attitude towards their children’s questions, and may even ignore opportunities to talk about the topic or make the subject difficult to express in words.
Interest in the topic of sexuality has appeared earlier and earlier. There is no doubt that the eroticism caused by the stimulation of the media, awakens early sexual behaviors, and that the adolescent quickly enters adult life without being psychologically prepared and unaware of the implications of a sexually active life. Therefore, it is essential that parents know how to talk about sex with their children, because if they have not already done so, surely someone will, and perhaps in a way that their children cannot understand . The conversation between parents and children promotes their children’s emotional development in a healthy way, and that tomorrow they will become safe adults when dealing with affection and sexuality.
Parents should understand and experience the discovery phase of their children in relation to their sexuality and that they perceive their children’s entry into puberty. Try to understand them by facilitating the emotional bond between them. Parents must create an environment of trust so that there is a closeness between their children, so that they do not feel alone, lost or disoriented.
What is the Right Time? Talk to your child about sex when he asks questions, when there is an interest in the body or the subject, that is, when he realizes the opportunity. If there are no questions, share with your child the doubts you had at his age. Choose a suitable environment to talk to your child in peace.
How to Chat? Always respect your child’s curiosity and emotional development. Speak in a simple, direct and relaxed way, being careful not to go beyond the question. Respect your child’s question and don’t be prejudiced or ashamed. Introduce the subject gradually. Be certain that your child got the attention he deserved. Do not worry about having all the answers, as the reception, attention and listening are important for your child.
What to talk about? respecting your child’s development, explain about: talk about the sexual act in a positive way, with affection and responsibility; the risks of unprotected sexual practice; the influence of friends at this stage of discovery; the risks of sexual violence, such as abuse, pedophilia, exchange of intimate images by cell phone; the use of contraceptive methods; body changes and body care; male and female sexual function; masturbation, and other aspects of sexuality.
Who To Talk To? Notice who my son is most comfortable talking about sex with; it can be the mother, the father or even an uncle. Make sure the person is responsible for properly informing your child.
Sex Education: Consider that sexual initiation can have positive and negative impacts on each person’s life history. Therefore, sex education is a differential that prepares the individual to deal with their sexuality throughout life.
By Dra Mirian Lopes, Psychologist specialized in human sexuality Bachelor / Psychology degree from UNIP Postgraduate in Human Sexuality from the Faculty of Medicine of the University of São Paulo – FMUSP
Office: Rua Silvia, 383, Cerqueira Cesar São Paulo Tel .: (11 ) 3262.1447 and also visit Dr. Mirian’s website by clicking here
See also: Sex and Pregnancy – Perfect Match?
My name is Dr. Alexis Hart I am 38 years old, I am the mother of 3 beautiful children! Different ages, different phases 16 years, 12 years and 7 years. In love with motherhood since always, I found it difficult to make my dreams come true, and also some more after I was already a mother.
Since I imagined myself as a mother, in my thoughts everything seemed to be much easier and simpler than it really was, I expected to get pregnant as soon as I wished, but it wasn’t that simple. The first pregnancy was smooth, but my daughter’s birth was very troubled. Joana was born in 2002 with a weight of 2930kg and 45cm, from a very peaceful cesarean delivery but she had already been born with congenital pneumonia due to a broken bag not treated with antibiotics even before delivery.