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I keep thinking about the tempting friends, because I know them, I know the feeling that lives in their hearts and in their intimate. I know the desire to be a mother that every woman who tries to get pregnant has, and that seems to never cease. Worse, it seems that the moment will never come. Days, weeks, months and even years pass, and as time seems cruel, it never seemed so tense to live a few days and a period of life. The feelings surrounding this waiting make us vulnerable to ourselves, we become villains with our feelings and expectations because we sabotage ourselves without even realizing it.
I remember like today, the desire that I had to drop everything and just not want an event so much. Simply turning off a button and not wanting to generate a life inside me anymore. I know exactly how many nights I cried until I fell asleep , how difficult it was to deal with a love that overflowed inside me and that I hoped to give to someone I didn’t even know myself yet. Confused, afraid of not succeeding and too much anxiety, it was how I felt in the most distressing moments. Dpos ( post-ovulation days ) were the slowest and most stressful for me. Not to mention the hormonal changes he suffered during that period, changes that made him even more sensitive.
Fighting against yourself is a great challenge at this moment, we have to control ourselves, control our impulses, our will, our maternal instinct that is so present and practically screaming inside us to truly blossom. How many times have I wanted to scream, give myself the right to revolt and rebel. Unburden and scream at the 4 corners the desire to have a baby that never arrived!
Lord, give me children! What did I do to deserve this painful wait?
Because with me? Because I? Why are things not as I imagined? Oh if everything was like childhood, where I made so many plans to get pregnant with a couple, twins! It would be so simple to get pregnant … Why couldn’t it be like that? I looked for a lot of answers and at the time of trying but I couldn’t find answers. I think that the disappointment and the frustration of waiting did not let me see what was really happening, the purpose of it all.
It took me years to understand that all that waiting and feeling that wanted to teach me something. I had to learn something from this whole situation, but how do I see the reason for everything I was feeling mixed up with so much love and desire to have a child? It is not easy to deal with this wait, but my time has come. Even during pregnancy I realized why so many years of waiting, I needed to slow down to have a more peaceful pregnancy. Despite so many ups and downs in pregnancy, so many problems, I had the tranquility and inner peace to live a turbulent and risky pregnancy. Resting was no worse than waiting so many years, being misunderstood by so many looks that judged me for wanting another child, and even for not getting pregnant.
I had to drop everything and dedicate myself to this dream at rest, with care and caution, wait as before, but now thinking not only about me, but about someone else who grew up inside me . After Mel’s birth, I realized that waiting had made me a stronger person. Nothing was impossible and in the face of so much struggle and perseverance, I would be able to do everything! Today I am stronger, because I learned to wait, to control myself, to control my desires and my wills. I learned above all to have more faith, to resign myself to the will of Godand comfort me in prayers that filled my heart with hope and tranquility. I learned to pray, and praying made me stronger and showed that with Him and for Him nothing is impossible, just understand your purpose. If you feel a great desire in your heart and do not know how to control your anxiety and desire to form a family, read carefully:
Be strong, be brave and persistent. If God has placed this will in your heart, it is because he has reserved a great lesson and will reward you at some point. Never lose hope and never stop asking with all your heart …
Lord, give me children, because He will hear you! God’s will is good, it is perfect and pleasant.
See also: I want to get pregnant and can’t do it! And now?
My name is Dr. Alexis Hart I am 38 years old, I am the mother of 3 beautiful children! Different ages, different phases 16 years, 12 years and 7 years. In love with motherhood since always, I found it difficult to make my dreams come true, and also some more after I was already a mother.
Since I imagined myself as a mother, in my thoughts everything seemed to be much easier and simpler than it really was, I expected to get pregnant as soon as I wished, but it wasn’t that simple. The first pregnancy was smooth, but my daughter’s birth was very troubled. Joana was born in 2002 with a weight of 2930kg and 45cm, from a very peaceful cesarean delivery but she had already been born with congenital pneumonia due to a broken bag not treated with antibiotics even before delivery.
