Index
When we quote the word stepmother, we easily associate it with a bad figure, who treats the children of a partner’s first relationship. That image of Snow White’s stepmother, you know? But we have to emphasize that life is not a fairy tale and people are different and act differently. With that, we affirm that there is a good stepmother!
The suspicion of leaving your most precious asset in the care of another woman, with no connection and bond with her child is inevitable in the beginning. What if she doesn’t like him? What if you don’t take good care of the time you are together? And get rid of the child when he should be looking after?
Parental Alienation
For the mother it is a very hard step, but believe it for the stepmother too. Living this role, so taxed and full of stigmas is a real obstacle, full of demands and fears. After all, what if the child doesn’t like Daddy’s new wife? Conquering a stepson is often an arduous task, especially if the mother does not have the collaboration.
Some mothers, instead of helping the child to associate the new condition of the father, make life a real competition for those who care and do more. This issue also enters a little in the parental alienation , which does a bad thing in the child’s head.
Parents should keep in mind that the child’s physical and mental health is first and foremost. Children need to feel welcomed, loved and safe wherever they are and even in the case of separated parents, this is essential, especially if it is a case of shared custody.
Stepmother and Stepchild Liaison
The good stepmother can invest in several ways to have a good relationship with her stepchildren. However, it is necessary to go through the phase of knowledge and discovery for both sides. Do not think it will be overnight, after all the connection between stepmother and stepson will happen over time, with the coexistence and the bonds and affinities are happening.
An important point for a healthy relationship is, if possible, to maintain a good relationship with the mother and always respect the decisions made by her . The good stepmother is one who cares with love, dedicates herself, treats her as her own, but above all respects and accepts the wishes of her parents.
Never, ever criticize the attitude of your stepson’s mother . As much as you have attitudes that you disagree with, it should not be spoken to children. Play the role of peacemaker, one who unites, aligns, helps and plays a very important role in the family.
Always act with transparency, determining for your stepchildren what you expect and intend with them. Do not force yourself to be something that you are not, let alone act forcefully. Children are sensitive and feel when it is not true and can end up creating a certain fear or schism, the effect totally contrary to what is expected, isn’t it?
Don’t push yourself, some kids have a harder time opening up, getting involved, even more when it comes to their father. Give enough time and opportunity to get to know her and see how much fun your relationship can be.
It really is not an easy task and it takes a lot of maturity to deal with all of this and above all, a lot of love. The good stepmother is the one who comes to add the child’s life, but never to take the place of the mother.
Being a stepmother does not mean that you have no responsibility and do not need to make an effort to care for your stepson. But yes, knowing how to accept that your husband has children who need his presence, care and love even if the family has broken up.
The good stepmother acts wisely and lovingly, does not put her interests before her stepchildren and is concerned with the well-being of children as if they were her own. But do not be discouraged if you have the impression that the children did not like you. It can often be in your head, insecurity or it is too early for everyone.
Nothing better than the time to strengthen ties and create affinities. Let time go by, do your part with love and be with your husband always to support you in caring for your children.
Mother and Stepmother Relationship
When it comes to mother and stepmother it can be a little more complicated. Several factors can involve and influence how this connection between mother and stepmother will be. How was the separation of the first relationship, or how is the relationship between the mother and father of the child and even if they manage to have a respectful relationship even after the divorce.
It also influences whether the mother is well resolved in question the ex’s new relationship and how she will face this whole situation. Initially, it is obvious that there is an insecurity, due to not knowing the stepmother or anything about her life, especially as will be the conduct towards the children of a previous relationship.
The ideal for him to bring security and comfort in this relationship is to meet daddy’s new wife . Talk, explain the son’s customs and maybe even create a connection to facilitate this relationship between stepmother and stepson.
If the intention is to have peace and provide a healthy and peaceful life for your children, avoid provocations, comparisons and much less pins and needles . If both have a game of waist and respect above all, who will win without a doubt is the child, who will have the home of the mother and father with total harmony.
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My name is Dr. Alexis Hart I am 38 years old, I am the mother of 3 beautiful children! Different ages, different phases 16 years, 12 years and 7 years. In love with motherhood since always, I found it difficult to make my dreams come true, and also some more after I was already a mother.
Since I imagined myself as a mother, in my thoughts everything seemed to be much easier and simpler than it really was, I expected to get pregnant as soon as I wished, but it wasn’t that simple. The first pregnancy was smooth, but my daughter’s birth was very troubled. Joana was born in 2002 with a weight of 2930kg and 45cm, from a very peaceful cesarean delivery but she had already been born with congenital pneumonia due to a broken bag not treated with antibiotics even before delivery.
