What is Parental Alienation – Dealing with the Situation

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Parental alienation happens and a lot in cases of separated parents did you know? The simple act of saying something negative from the father or mother to the child can reflect as a more than negative point in the way in which the child sees its parent in question.

Sometimes parental alienation can also become much worse than we think. The alienated child can become violent, sad and aggressive for no apparent reason. So how to recognize a case of parental alienation and how to deal with this situation.

What is parental alienation? It is the act of speaking badly or misrepresenting the parent’s view of the child in question, it usually happens in separate couples and can also create fear of the child towards the parent. Whether from father to mother or from mother to father, the issue goes much deeper than we think because it can damage the child’s view of his hitherto hero.

The parent may try to distance the child from the other parent in question, prevent visits and when these happen to fill the child with recommendations and caution about how to behave, it can also be a kind of manipulation. In a way, the child may feel censored to be himself and love the opposite party thinking that he is cheating on the mother or father who lives and lives.

Parental alienation can also start from taking away or depriving the father or mother of the right to participate in the child’s daily life with simple decisions such as school choice, school meetings, birthday parties, festive weekends and so on. Showing displeasure at the fact that the child is with the other party is also a form of parental alienation, sometimes it can be confused with jealousy but if the child notices and identifies this difficulty of the parent, it can keep the parents feeling and make themselves guilty for such a sad feeling in the person who mirrors and loves. Situations to be avoided at all costs

  • Traveling with or without the child without giving satisfaction to the parent
  • Criticism about professional life
  • Situations like her or me or vice versa
  • Denigrate the image as a person of the father or mother

Sometimes the hurt at the end of the relationship can also bring parental alienation in a more aggressive way and makes the father or mother show all the hurt left by the relationship, thus discharging and overloading the child making him choose between living with the father who lives or with the father who left and it can make the relationship much more exhausting. Another big mistake of the parents, is to make their son a kind of spy in the “enemy” field , how many girlfriends, who he walks with, what he bought, what he is doing… All of this can be seen and heard by the child to satisfy the curiosity of how is your ex’s life.

Parental alienation can even leave consequences so profound on the child, that some may no longer want to live with their father or mother, even refusing the visits imposed by the judge thus losing contact completely. In some alienated children, the reflexes of the parents’ behavior in the face of the hurt of separation, reach into adulthood.

These are behaviors that can be taken in a moment of sadness and difficulty in life that marks the rest of the lives of children in a relationship that has ended. Do children absorb everything that their parents teach like a sponge and how to teach to see only the defects and even if it would be different to hate their father or mother?

Parental alienation can also happen even without separation so it is very important to police yourself with certain comments in front of your children, sometimes it is happening inside our house without us being aware! Removing the child from the father or mother even inside the home can be even worse than separation.

How to Avoid Parental Alienation?

Even when the hurt takes over the marital part, it is worth remembering that more than two this relationship is made, the child must be taken into consideration and a lot at the time of separation to avoid having deep consequences. Of course, children of separated parents suffer and this cannot be denied, but knowing how to deal with the whole situation of separation is essential to not bring parental alienation into the home.

Understand your child! He will certainly miss his father or mother, and when he calls for him, make a direct bridge either with a call, or even scheduling a visit, do not let the sadness of the end of the relationship or bad living with the partner affect the vision as parents the child has.

It is fundamental for the child to agree with the parent and is supported by law. In fact, the law of parental alienation is old until, in force since 1985, where the distancing and right of family coexistence between children and parents was already discussed.

The alienation law art. 236 of Law No. 8,069 , of July 13, 1990, provides for preserving the connivance right of both parents and relatives of the parents, extends to the child’s grandparents and uncles for family-based training necessary for any individual. Now with this law, judges have greater powers to prevent parental alienation from affecting the child with such emotional devastation.

If it finds that the father or mother is practicing parental alienation, the other party should react contrary, trying to work around the problem as best as possible, if necessary, taking the child to a psychologist to check for any permanent damage. Fulfilling all obligations is also essential for hostile guardian hostility to occur.

If it gets to the point of legal dispute for the children and never, ever discuss the process with the minors involved, this can give a feeling of vulnerability and great guilt for a particular parental fight and this in a child’s unconscious is like poison in adulthood .

Children who experience parental alienation in childhood tend to have psychological problems in adulthood or adolescence, becoming angry, intolerant and even suicidal adults . So before saying anything negative or even practicing a criticism, think and reflect if pouring the hurt from the opposite party is worth it.

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Dr. Alexis Hart
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My name is Dr. Alexis Hart I am 38 years old, I am the mother of 3 beautiful children! Different ages, different phases 16 years, 12 years and 7 years. In love with motherhood since always, I found it difficult to make my dreams come true, and also some more after I was already a mother.

Since I imagined myself as a mother, in my thoughts everything seemed to be much easier and simpler than it really was, I expected to get pregnant as soon as I wished, but it wasn’t that simple. The first pregnancy was smooth, but my daughter’s birth was very troubled. Joana was born in 2002 with a weight of 2930kg and 45cm, from a very peaceful cesarean delivery but she had already been born with congenital pneumonia due to a broken bag not treated with antibiotics even before delivery.

Dr. Alexis Hart

My name is Dr. Alexis Hart I am 38 years old, I am the mother of 3 beautiful children! Different ages, different phases 16 years, 12 years and 7 years. In love with motherhood since always, I found it difficult to make my dreams come true, and also some more after I was already a mother.Since I imagined myself as a mother, in my thoughts everything seemed to be much easier and simpler than it really was, I expected to get pregnant as soon as I wished, but it wasn’t that simple. The first pregnancy was smooth, but my daughter’s birth was very troubled. Joana was born in 2002 with a weight of 2930kg and 45cm, from a very peaceful cesarean delivery but she had already been born with congenital pneumonia due to a broken bag not treated with antibiotics even before delivery.

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