Index
Younger brother… oh there, only I know what happens at my house and there seem to be days when jealousy reigns! Well, as you may know, there are 3 children (11.6, almost 7 and 2 years old) and when I got pregnant for the second time, my oldest one was already transformed in the beginning of pregnancy . Even explaining and involving my daughter, that sweet and calm little girl was giving way to a sly and somewhat “aggressive” child with attitudes that she did not have and could not even hear the word “brother” that changed the climate. Everyone told me this was normal, after all she was the only child in the family (from my part of the family, as I already had nephews from my husband) who was just to include her in the pregnancy and explain that she was the oldest , that would be the big sister and that the love would be equal.
But at last Dudu was born and things only got worse… All the visitors who saw her attitude tried to help me saying that by involving her , she would feel useful and that she would not be so jealous . I did everything they taught me but I confess that even today it is like that, she seems to have a kind of teasing, resistance with him, even though she seems to love her brother very much. Well, when I got pregnant with Melissa Dudu was 4 years old, he was always more of a baby, boy, youngest… you know how it is, right? lol despite always educating them to grow up and be independent, I still have a very strong bond with my children (this may or may not be that good, who knows) and in the time I take to have one of them, the other is hitting the door and wanting to take the brother’s attention. Then, when Mel was born, she started to regress, already a big pee on the bed, she wanted a pacifier and so on. Finally, when Melissa was born, she felt older than he was happy, but it was understandable because he, like Joana, was losing the youngest position in the family.
Pediatrician talking about adapting the arrival of the younger brother
I remember my mother telling me that when I was born my older sister had a fit of jealousy and wanted me to die. That was until one day she dreamed that I was dead in a crib and after that day things got better, but they didn’t heal. Affinity is something that exists, sometimes we have more affinity with one brother and the other not so much, I feel this affinity between the girls, and between Dudu and Melissa, they love to play together, in fact she stays behind him for the day all around, calls to play, draw together. It’s a beauty, but when the 3 play together I see that the dispute for the smallest is very big!
I really think that jealousy is a natural thing for human beings, I am particularly jealous (yes I confess!) , I understand my children’s jealousy for each other and I try to put myself in their place. I know this goes on for the rest of my life, I just try to manage the situation in a way that everyone feels that I am fair to everyone, I value everyone equally and I especially love everyone the same way. How many times and how many times did I blame myself and put my hands on my head thinking I was doing everything wrong to deal with their feeling, but you know today I forgive myself because I’m sure I give enough love to the 3 and equally. I try to help in the emotional needs they may have and show that they will be for each other for the rest of their lives, after all, father and mother are not eternal.
Jealousy goes from the person’s personality together with some situation and always, there will always be some kind of conflict when you have more than one child or even when a cousin is born in the family. It is perfectly normal , now the family will drive in a healthy and fair way so that the child feels that he is loved and valued as much as the younger brother who was just born and is being pampered by dads and visitors. And remember, always, always, always that, when visiting a baby that has an older brother, take some souvenir for him, even if it is a candy. This will be recorded and will be a gesture of affection. Mom thanks you!
Dealing with patience is a good way, but it can take a while for the situation to be calmer, try in every way to show love to your child who just received a little brother and know that what seems to be morning can be built-in jealousy. The family suffers from realizing that a child is suffering with the arrival of the youngest brother, after all, in a moment of so much joy, there is part of the concern with the elder, how will he react? What will the relationship be like from now on? I just know that excluding is not the best way to deal with the situation, integrating is a good solution and can sometimes completely resolve any differences that may exist.
Three key words: Patience, Love and dedication. I really want to hear your opinion, leave a comment here and you don’t need to identify yourself.
Bj and see you next time
See also: Behavior – When a Couple Becomes a Family and Jealous
My name is Dr. Alexis Hart I am 38 years old, I am the mother of 3 beautiful children! Different ages, different phases 16 years, 12 years and 7 years. In love with motherhood since always, I found it difficult to make my dreams come true, and also some more after I was already a mother.
Since I imagined myself as a mother, in my thoughts everything seemed to be much easier and simpler than it really was, I expected to get pregnant as soon as I wished, but it wasn’t that simple. The first pregnancy was smooth, but my daughter’s birth was very troubled. Joana was born in 2002 with a weight of 2930kg and 45cm, from a very peaceful cesarean delivery but she had already been born with congenital pneumonia due to a broken bag not treated with antibiotics even before delivery.
