One of these days I was talking to a friend and she was telling me everything she did for her husband, things like a treat for love like giving food in the hand lol or exclusive attention to her husband. Of course, after all newlyweds or even if they have been married for a while life is very, very different from when you have a baby. I myself remember everything I did for my love when it was just the two of us, I think it was a beautiful, romantic phase and it was lived intensely, of course we tried to keep romanticism but the children arrived and the routine that was just for a couple it changed… We have a habit of romanticizing the situation too much and sometimes we have no idea of the problems that can appear, such as the jealousy of a father with his son and mom for example.
When the couple is united in a dream of having a baby, things can be much easier, but there are cases where after birth the father starts to miss his wife , what it was like before pregnancy and birth. But it’s not that it’s not there, it’s just there in a different way. When pregnancy happens, there are still two people living together, after the baby is born it becomes 3, and the life, attention and care of the woman starts to be especially for the baby, daddy can be “sideways” in the whole story .
Of course, these are isolated cases and facts, but it happens, you know? yes dad can start to be jealous of his own son with his wife . Time to think about being left out, now because I no longer have all the exclusive attention and pampering I had before the baby was born. It seems like a dispute, but people, it is not. This feeling is normal and super understandable, after all life changes a lot with the birth of a child. But the woman can be lost in this field of ” dispute” and jealousy, sleepless nights, feedings and all the new adaptation must have the collaboration of her husband, father and partner. Everything becomes much easier when there is attunement, and when a situation arises in which the man does not understand the changes and sometimes does not accept. So how to deal with this very complicated situation?
Dialogue, always dialogue. I think the feeling of a father can be a little confused after birth, and there is still the story of postpartum care that can make it even worse. The couple’s sexual routine will be affected for sure. Anyone who already has a baby knows this, with every pregnancy, every child that comes into the world, their sex life is “impaired”. The intimate moments are increasingly spaced and always when the baby “leaves” lol. Analyzing behavior can also help, is the reason for your partner’s complaints true? We become so involved with motherhood that we can neglect marriage ,the husband-wife relationship, begins to live only that moment that is magical for the woman, for the couple as a whole. We can never let the maternal side take over the marriage. It is essential that the relationship between the couple is a special moment as before, despite tiredness and all the responsibilities.
The reasons for this jealousy may happen, among them, the man may be insecure with the birth, the responsibility that comes with a baby and also the importance it has within this whole situation. Although it is a situation in which the couple is involved, the changes may be too much for a person who is resistant to the new and there may also be some dispute for attention.
One, the baby is the fruit of the love of two people and should not be a reason for disagreement between the couple, the baby should unite the two parties , but sometimes the feeling of jealousy that is controversial ends up invading the new situation. It is up to us women to know how to measure attitudes and also help daddy in this difficult phase. Getting more involved in activities and remembering that you are a couple first and dating is fundamental for a relationship to continue working even with the arrival of the children. Moments alone can become more rare , but try to take advantage of those moments and it can even help that moment can exist more often. Ask the baby’s grandma, an aunt or friend, for help, they can help a lot with the baby for a moment alone with the couple.
Anyway, making the husband feel that his wife is still there is essential. Now they are parents, but the love of a couple should never be left aside.
Chatting is the secret of everything!
See also: Postpartum sexual intercourse
My name is Dr. Alexis Hart I am 38 years old, I am the mother of 3 beautiful children! Different ages, different phases 16 years, 12 years and 7 years. In love with motherhood since always, I found it difficult to make my dreams come true, and also some more after I was already a mother.
Since I imagined myself as a mother, in my thoughts everything seemed to be much easier and simpler than it really was, I expected to get pregnant as soon as I wished, but it wasn’t that simple. The first pregnancy was smooth, but my daughter’s birth was very troubled. Joana was born in 2002 with a weight of 2930kg and 45cm, from a very peaceful cesarean delivery but she had already been born with congenital pneumonia due to a broken bag not treated with antibiotics even before delivery.