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Postpartum is a very delicate phase for a woman, in which she will need help with basic things like going to the bathroom or holding the baby, especially right after birth, so it is very important for the father to be involved in the postpartum period. , helping her to feel safe and better physically.
After delivery, the mother is responsible for breastfeeding and is the main liaison figure for the baby. If the mother needs to rest, the baby can stay with the father, but the father’s role at this stage is not easy and, in general, he has to face insecurities, pressures and doubts.
The Father’s Place in Postpartum and Puerperium
Until times not so distant, the father’s involvement in the postpartum period did not exist. The father was hardly involved in his wife’s pregnancy, the birth and education of the children.
It was common, for those who could afford it, that the help that the mother needed in the postpartum and postpartum period was given by other women , because it was not “a man’s thing”.
Fortunately, things have changed in recent years. Although the change is slow and involves effort , what happens today is already very different. Today the father’s involvement in the postpartum period is almost never a passive element , he doesn’t want to be left out.
Often, feelings of discomfort , insecurity and uncertainty appear in the parents, as a consequence of the lack of definition about the functions that they themselves want and feel they should assume, and also what the family and society expect of them.
Therefore, the father’s involvement in the postpartum period must be defined through the tasks that can be delegated to him for that period.
Most Appropriate Chores for Dad at this Stage
Getting home with the baby is a crucial moment and is sometimes feared by parents, since the hospital environment that gives them security is abandoned. From now on, parents are “alone in the face of danger” and everything they have learned in the course of preparing for childbirth seems to disappear or not be fulfilled.
It is likely that the woman is still recovering physically, so the father’s involvement in the postpartum period is important. In fact, the most common is that they both help each other so that the moment does not turn out to be disastrous.
The advice is that after the baby is born, the father has as much time as possible to devote himself to his family . If paternity leave can be added to holidays or free days for any other reason, they will be very beneficial for him and the whole family to adapt to the new reality.
Help her to walk, to get out of bed, to approach the baby. And the first contacts with the newborn will be constant and valuable for the father’s involvement in the postpartum period and his recognition as a father. He will also have to take care of changing diapers or bathing , while the mother cannot do it.
The child develops the bond with only one person. What is desirable is that this person be the mother, and that this union is created mainly by breastfeeding.
The mother’s dedication to the baby in these cases is exclusive. All your time is meant to be with him. The father’s involvement in the postpartum period includes, in this sense, accompanying and lending a helping hand in everything that is within his reach, such as: helping the woman to sit or stand up, when it is still difficult in the first days postpartum, perform household chores, such as cooking , cleaning the house, going to the supermarket, taking care of other children (if any), among others.
One is to manage and filter the visits of people who want to meet the child, who may have to wait a while is also a task that can be left to him. And, possibly, the memories of those days – in photos, videos are also much better to have the father in charge.
For many men, the father’s involvement in the postpartum will not mean much change in their usual routine, but others will need a period of adaptation and even a little calm to deal with this new phase.
An advice to be given is: so that the man does not suffer this impact with his involvement in the postpartum period, that during pregnancy he proposes to be a little more concerned with the way his house works .
Supporting the Mother is Caring for the Baby Through Her
During that first moment, the father is a secondary figure for the baby . The mother, in turn, devotes all her attention to the little one. As a result, the father may feel excluded from a relationship as close as that which occurs between the mother and the child in the first months.
This is how, in many cases, men feel jealous of the baby . This is what experts call the Laio complex . This, added to the discomfort and uncertainty, sometimes generates feelings in the man such as abandonment or rejection, a certain discontent with the son and the rivalry with the couple, which leads to conflicts and crises that can even end in a separation.
Therefore, communication is essential . A lot of dialogue, so that both parties can express their feelings in the most open way possible, without judging the other, but trying to understand and find solutions.
And How Does Paternity Leave Work?
Currently, working parents have a period of 5 days to stay with their wife and child – Paternity Leave . Some companies adopt a slightly higher paternity leave, however it is only valid for workers of companies enrolled in the Corporate Citizenship Program (program that came into force in 2008, and is the same in which companies offer 6 months of maternity leave instead of 4 for companies). mothers).
However, not everyone can or can stop working during this period (in the case of freelancers). Consequently, this time is not enough for the mother’s recovery, so he may be a secondary figure for the baby, but the father’s involvement in the postpartum period is necessary and very important for the mother.
Taking the time to spend with your wife and baby is sure to reflect on future benefits.
See also: Behavior – When a Couple Becomes a Family and Jealousy
My name is Dr. Alexis Hart I am 38 years old, I am the mother of 3 beautiful children! Different ages, different phases 16 years, 12 years and 7 years. In love with motherhood since always, I found it difficult to make my dreams come true, and also some more after I was already a mother.
Since I imagined myself as a mother, in my thoughts everything seemed to be much easier and simpler than it really was, I expected to get pregnant as soon as I wished, but it wasn’t that simple. The first pregnancy was smooth, but my daughter’s birth was very troubled. Joana was born in 2002 with a weight of 2930kg and 45cm, from a very peaceful cesarean delivery but she had already been born with congenital pneumonia due to a broken bag not treated with antibiotics even before delivery.
