The wait for pregnancy can be excruciating for many women.
Anxiety … This is certainly the biggest villain in the life of a woman who wants to get pregnant. Often idealizing pregnancy is part of the imagination when we are still girls and many do not imagine that they would experience so many difficulties when they decide to become pregnant. The man of our lives arrives and with him the commitment, the marriage and the decision to have children. But there after a while, where’s the baby? Where’s my baby? Am I doing something wrong that doesn’t deserve to be blessed with the dream pregnancy? Where’s the baby that was here in my idealization of the perfect life …
We can punish ourselves and often feel useless for not even being able to get pregnant within an acceptable period of 12 cycles or 1 year. Sometimes this period has already been exceeded by several years, 3, 4, 8 years! But 1 year goes by fast, right? For outsiders, yes! Imagine being cycle after cycle waiting for the baby to arrive and the pregnancy does not happen. Put yourself in the shoes of this woman who desires so much and with all her heart to generate a life! Imagine waiting for a miracle that seems to be so close, but at the same time being so distant that it never comes to fruition during years and years of waiting.
I often thought that the baby would not come. I found myself thinking that I could never be the mother I wanted and as I always dreamed. Although I already have a daughter, I wanted more! After all, I had a lot more love to give. Where’s the baby so dreamed and expected? I wanted to have a new chance to show off my big, shiny belly and show everyone my satisfaction in generating a new life. I keep thinking that for me, who already had children, it was difficult to wait, I imagine for those who do not yet have a child to call their own. Can despair, agony and anxiety take over this woman who dreams of pregnancy and what to do? Who to run to? Who to ask for help? The wait is truly excruciating and desperate.
We keep our hands and feet tied, because no matter how much we do what is within reach, it doesn’t seem to be enough. The pain of not having your dreamed baby in the womb or in your arms suffocates and kills us little by little, each day a little more. Where is the baby promised by my innocence as a girl, the same one that aroused the desire to generate and be a mother? Is it all fair that I’m going through? Why me, why, why?
Where is the baby? Because with me?
Questions can be answered over time, but until the pregnancy arrives and things become clearer, the wait will not be understood so that we would be relaxed in this wait. In fact, the most difficult thing is to stop charging ourselves. This collection that generates all this anxiety. I speak this with the experience of the long 7 years that I have endured in this torturous way of being tempting.
But in the end do you know what I realized? Who said it would be easy? Who had said that to become a mother I would walk a path full of flowers without thorns? I idealized this event and nobody told me that I would come out of this unscathed. At the end of the day, I left with several marks of this difficult time, full of negatives, frustrations and became a much more patient person with years of waiting. But do you know? I WOULD DO EVERYTHING AGAIN! Do you know why? Because I became who I am today and I value everyone who goes through this phase. I know that nobody spends years and years trying in vain to find it beautiful, this is really a condition that is not expected, but that happens.
Where’s the baby God promised? It will send at the right time. In the process of maturing this idea of being a mother, I learned that nothing is in vain and that no matter how much suffering there is, something must stay out of this crazy phase, which is trying to be a mother, having a baby. If you are the type who managed to get pregnant easily, before 5 months of trying you may not understand these words. But look for a friend, relative or acquaintance who is going through this “torture” of waiting for more than 1 year that you will surely understand.
Here comes the tricky advice: Take exams friend! Your husband too. They will be able to make sure that there is a concrete obstacle between the realization of your dream and you. There is no point in struggling, destroying yourself in tears, waiting and anxiety without knowing if something is wrong with you or your partner. Be brave, braver than you ever thought you could be. Investigating is the way to success and avoid frustrating negatives, which end the dream of having a baby. Suffering is sometimes necessary. He can dignify your wait and even make it possible for us to value more the achievement that we will receive with open arms and tears in our eyes.. Who said it was going to be easy? But be sure that in this arduous waiting process, you will learn to appreciate and, in the end, become the happiest person in the world!
My name is Dr. Alexis Hart I am 38 years old, I am the mother of 3 beautiful children! Different ages, different phases 16 years, 12 years and 7 years. In love with motherhood since always, I found it difficult to make my dreams come true, and also some more after I was already a mother.
Since I imagined myself as a mother, in my thoughts everything seemed to be much easier and simpler than it really was, I expected to get pregnant as soon as I wished, but it wasn’t that simple. The first pregnancy was smooth, but my daughter’s birth was very troubled. Joana was born in 2002 with a weight of 2930kg and 45cm, from a very peaceful cesarean delivery but she had already been born with congenital pneumonia due to a broken bag not treated with antibiotics even before delivery.