I’m an owl mom too! I don’t think you can deny it but you know, I would be grateful if someone had contact with me about what would happen during motherhood even before becoming pregnant. Of course, getting pregnant or even adopting is wonderful! Seeing a baby so helpless looking at you with those innocent little eyes, depending on your milk, your care … Even when they are older they give us so much pride and love that we can’t even describe it.
I struggled a lot to have my family, my kids didn’t come so easily, it was years of trying.
There is no feeling that it is more satisfying in the world than being a mother, I do not doubt that! What nobody talks about are the difficulties that a mother faces. The bonus of motherhood is much greater than the burden, but it is still there! The animal that devours our energies, sucks free time and even learns to give up so many things for the sake of offspring is an adaptation and almost nothing in front of the truth of what it means to be a mother. From my own experience as a mother of three, I have listed some of the greatest difficulties I had when I gave birth and I still face it today as a mother of children and a teenager. Get rid of any prejudice judgment and follow with me my vision of what it is to be a mother!
What does it mean to be a mother? Give up
The first thing I learned as a mother was to give up. Even before birth, I noticed that everything I did was for the baby, but nothing close to what happened after the first baby arrived. The time is really not yours anymore but your child’s. When single or even married and without children, we are free to go, come and stay when, how and why we simply want it that way. When the offspring gives the air of grace, that freedom simply disappears! Coming and going becomes logistics worthy of highly trained engineers on the subject unless you have a team of babysitters to help transport the stuff that every first-time mom carries. After giving birth we areliterally locked up at home, all because of the baby’s initial vaccination phase, exposing the baby unnecessarily for a few months is unnecessary and an indisputable fact. Not that it’s all bad, but there are those who miss this freedom, but deep down, we want it to be the same as before . But we got used to it, think that it is a life transition phase.
Leaving vanity a little aside is a consequence. Now the long baths, weekly hydrations and visits to the salon become more widely spaced. We often miss these treats, yes I still do. Going to places where they are not suitable for children can become a headache, I have already stopped doing several programs or staying a little longer because of the children, after all, they have hours for everything, especially when they are younger. Of course, when you have support from the child’s grandmother or even when there are collaborative parents, uncles and friends, things change a little bit, but it still won’t be the same as before. This more complicated phase passes!
What does it mean to be a mother? Physical Changes
I will not go into the merit of the transformation of pregnancy in the body, but in what the body starts to suffer after childbirth. The belly may not be the most beautiful of visions for a very recent parturient but I have never felt so good in life as after my three deliveries. Not to mention coming and going again, sleepless nights are what many women consume. The feedings free demand or every three hours and some babies that may change the day into the night, leaving the glow of motherhood somewhat overshadowed in the adaptation phase.The night time can be sacrificing initially, nothing better than the good times to sleep when and understand, after being a mother this is luxury! That is why it is so important to sleep when the baby sleeps, keeping up with the baby’s rhythm has to be the mother’s priority and let the housework go!
And a mom’s column for a 6 to 2 year old baby will never be the same! At least not when you have to carry a heavy baby in your arms for a long time during the day. I don’t know a woman who doesn’t complain of back pain and / or arms with small babies. Many women start to have pains due to the weight of the child, there has nothing to do with the strength they have, but the excess of time that the baby hangs. I myself had horrible bouts of tendonitis in the shoulders and back pain that only passed after the children got a little older and started to walk, but then the work is different. Running after the kids is also not easy! Act mood and health! Being a tired mother is not a mistake!
The sex life… well, sex for a couple who just had a baby is quite a difficult mission. Let’s talk more openly, sex being tired, all sweaty, smelling like milk may seem too strange, right? And there are still cases where the husband / partner does not facilitate. Staying sleepless nights and nights without even time to take a good shower and fall into bed and sleep all night becomes a practically erotic dream. Sex then? Although there are women who have a very sharp libido and are not affected by childbirth, blessed are these women! Let’s say that this phase of returning to sexual life with a small baby can be compared to when they grow up a little more. 24-hour surveillance of children can take away the couple’s freedom and there… sex? how? three in the morning and look there! But for that we always find a way to believe.
What does it mean to be a mother? Behavioral Changes
After motherhood I was never alone again! Honestly it is not the worst part of being a mother, I enjoy company mainly with my children. However, there are times when “manhê” has to give way to a good headset and favorite songs to escape the daily shouting. Educating … this is the most delicate part of the whole history of being a mother. Training individuals of character and righteousness is much more difficult than it seems, especially in a world where violence and drugs are constantly present as a permanent threat. Your child’s safety and well-being is the highest priority of your life from now on.
You become the biggest reference for those little creatures that absorb everything like a sponge and drink literally everything that the mother has to offer in terms of knowledge. Mom what is that? Mother, what is that? Mother how do you say? Mom give me? Get used to these phrases, as soon as you start talking you are a constant mother! As they say, children look to their father just to know where their mother is!
After I became a mother I became invisible for a few moments, I swear! After I became a mother, I realized that I could be an invisible woman. As soon as she got somewhere, she was ignored by the people around her. Everyone (with few exceptions) went directly into my arms to see the baby and didn’t even greet me! Controversial for those who received all possible attention during pregnancy . Have you ever made the mistake of not greeting or wanting to know about the poor forgotten mother after giving birth? So get ready, because your time will come!
Health is a case in point, in the first fever of the baby or child we are never prepared, believe me. Seeing your child suffer even from a simple flu with a fever can be a milestone in a woman’s life. It seems that being a mother becomes something so small, we cannot do much beyond caring. I want to be in their place in times of illness , I think that seeing their child in pain, even when they are older, is very strong for a mother. I know that many may not agree with all my impressions about motherhood, but I know that not everything is flowers, beginning with pregnancy. Many feel discomforts that are just free samples of everything to come.
You know, I wouldn’t change a thing! I would just add all of my experience today to my past self and would like advice from my future self. What will it be like to be a mother 10 years from now? What does it hold for me as a mother of teenagers and adults? My struggle and learning how to be a good mother still continues, with mistakes and successes, but each day a better mother than I was the day before . Being a mother is an eternal donation and constant learning of how to be a better person.
My name is Dr. Alexis Hart I am 38 years old, I am the mother of 3 beautiful children! Different ages, different phases 16 years, 12 years and 7 years. In love with motherhood since always, I found it difficult to make my dreams come true, and also some more after I was already a mother.
Since I imagined myself as a mother, in my thoughts everything seemed to be much easier and simpler than it really was, I expected to get pregnant as soon as I wished, but it wasn’t that simple. The first pregnancy was smooth, but my daughter’s birth was very troubled. Joana was born in 2002 with a weight of 2930kg and 45cm, from a very peaceful cesarean delivery but she had already been born with congenital pneumonia due to a broken bag not treated with antibiotics even before delivery.