In the society in which we live, it is very common to see cases of mothers raising their children alone. The truth is that it is much more common to see more fathers than absent mothers, for several reasons, but mainly because of a culture that has been with us for many generations.
But the exceptions do exist and it is not just because they are outnumbered that there is nothing to talk about. In fact, there are many things to be said about the life and difficulties of a solo parent.
The Change in a Man’s Life by Becoming a Solo Father
Without a doubt it is a moment of shock when a man realizes that he will need to take care of his son or daughter alone. As much as he prepared to be a father, being a solo father brings about a drastic change in a man’s life.
The work routine is different, the relationship with friends and family also changes a lot, in addition to the help of many people if necessary, especially from the closest family.
This change appears with a tone of accelerated growth. If, on the one hand, just the fact of becoming a father already makes you grow as a human being, being a solo parent accelerates this growth, makes you realize small details that you would never achieve and, above all, creates a unique bond with kid.
You become the strongest point of reference for her, the person she trusts the most and gives you the most security. It is not for nothing that we see many parents who raise their children alone who have many characteristics that we tend to attribute more to mothers, such as overprotection. He ends up playing both of them in the end.
The main difficulties
Difficulty is a term that is part of the daily life of a solo parent. It is very common for a man not to know how to deal with certain situations, especially if he has a daughter and does not understand so well about his development.
But the main tip for dealing with these difficulties is to be present at all times in the child’s life, even though this is sometimes difficult due to work and other commitments.
The help of people you trust is essential in times of difficulty. Nobody raises a child alone and the parents (or the father, in this case) part is just a slice of the education that the child receives.
There are several other factors such as school, friends, television, what she sees in everyday life, as well as examples of other trusted people such as grandparents and uncles who also influence how the child will behave.
As the child grows up, the difficulties change . The problems you have with dealing with a baby are very different from the problems of a 7-year-old child, which in turn are very different from the problems of adolescence.
Of course, as the child grows, the father also grows as a father and learns to deal with new situations, but it is necessary to know that difficulties will always be present and the lack of a maternal figure will often end up making them worse.
Time with your Son
As the only point of reference for the child, it is extremely necessary that you spend as much time as you can with the child, both in good times and in difficulties.
Being present at important moments like the first day of school, for example, will reinforce the strength of your presence in the child’s life and this is very beneficial for your mental health. Being there to help with homework or to help deal with school problems also makes this connection ever greater.
Being able to spend time having fun with your child is also important and will make all the difference in your child’s growth. Even if it seems that she does not miss having a mother, this is something unconscious and inherent in the human being, so it is the role of the solo father to double his efforts to raise his son.
The planning of anyone who raises their child alone needs to be rigorous. It is necessary to reconcile work, take care of the child and personal life as well, which cannot be left out. With so many factors to be taken into account, it is not surprising that personal life is often overlooked by many.
And this is something that does not seem to be beneficial, since it can harm man’s mental health, and can even generate diseases such as anxiety and depression.
It is necessary to have time for yourself, time to go out with friends, to meet new people and to rest your mind. This relieves stress, makes you feel part of the world again, and gives you new energy to continue raising your child.
For these things to be possible, it is clear that it is necessary to count on the help of reliable people, as we have already said. Being a solo parent is definitely not an easy task, but that also doesn’t mean it’s impossible to do.
Many parents raise their sons and daughters on their own and are able to do this with mastery. Of course, there are difficulties along the way, as the mother is a very important figure in the development of a child, but these are things that end up being part of the lives of these people and the most important thing is to move forward doing the best possible for their children to have a happy childhood full of good times. This is essential for the rest of their lives to be happy, too.
See also: Independent Maternity – Alone by Option
My name is Dr. Alexis Hart I am 38 years old, I am the mother of 3 beautiful children! Different ages, different phases 16 years, 12 years and 7 years. In love with motherhood since always, I found it difficult to make my dreams come true, and also some more after I was already a mother.
Since I imagined myself as a mother, in my thoughts everything seemed to be much easier and simpler than it really was, I expected to get pregnant as soon as I wished, but it wasn’t that simple. The first pregnancy was smooth, but my daughter’s birth was very troubled. Joana was born in 2002 with a weight of 2930kg and 45cm, from a very peaceful cesarean delivery but she had already been born with congenital pneumonia due to a broken bag not treated with antibiotics even before delivery.