During this period it is normal for sex and pregnancy to become taboo for some couples, who, due to some fears, cool their sex lives . Many couples for fear of hurting the baby prefer to put their desires aside and wait for the baby to arrive. Already other couples see sex and pregnancy as something exciting, more pleasurable and even a great way to diversify the relationship and many of the women have their libido increased during this period due to the increase in hormones, which makes their sex life even hotter. than normal.
Nowadays it is natural to see a man feeling “pregnant” with his wife, more than in the past, and this makes him participate more in the pregnancy as a whole, from routine consultations to exams. During visits to obstetricians many men take the opportunity to clarify their doubts, understand their fears and even lose them. That is why it is very important for the father to participate and accompany him during pregnancy, as this way the couple will have a healthier and more pleasurable life during the 9 months and without unnecessary fears.
Fears and Fears
As for the fear of hurting the baby, dads should be calm, as the baby is surrounded by the amniotic fluid and there is no possibility of hurting the baby unless the sexual act is extremely rough. New positions can improve sex and the couple can discover new ways to date without feeling uncomfortable during pregnancy.
In some cases in which the pregnant woman has a previous placenta , risk of miscarriage and even a history of spontaneous abortions, the obstetrician will advise that sex be avoided for a period, until she is out of risk. Then just do not overdo the intensity and resume sex life normally. There are some easier sexual positions during the period of pregnancy , where the size of the belly will not bother so much, such as:
Indicated Sexual Positions
- Puppy: In this position the man had not put the weight of the body on the belly, leaving it free and thus he controlling the penetration. Usually women can do this position until the end of the second trimester where the belly starts to get a little heavier.
- Spoon or spoon: It is one of the most peaceful positions for pregnant women from the first to the third trimester, as the belly will always be supported on the bed. The man had stayed behind the woman, controlling the penetration without putting any weight on her body.
- Sitting: Not all women are comfortable with this position, but this way it controls the intensity of penetration leaving the belly free and without pressure on the body.
There are thousands of other positions and ways for the couple to be satisfied during this period, just feel safe and discover yourself together, without fear. For the most insecure couples, masturbation and oral sex are also great options so that the relationship does not cool down during this period. Take all doubts with the obstetricians and be happy during the 9 months of pregnancy.
The birth of the baby alters the dynamics of the couple. Tasks are learned and new roles are assumed within the relationship. There is a reorganization of everyone to take care of the baby, a real challenge to the adaptability of each one.
Changes such as a high increase in hormone , estrogen and progesterone production; changes in skin, hair; increased heart volume and decreased intestinal activity; enlargement of the abdomen and breasts , alters the woman’s perception of her body image and leads her to have feelings of loss of self-esteem, to feel unattractive physically and even with the inability to seduce.
In the postpartum period, hormonal changes occur, such as a decrease in the level of estrogens and progesterone, and an increase in prolactin, during the breastfeeding period; the decrease in the size of the uterus ; in addition, experiences of birth sequelae may occur during the first few weeks after delivery. These changes put the woman in touch with new emotions, anxieties, thoughts and joys . The fear of losing the baby, of losing its own autonomy, fear that its body will never be the same, contrasts with feelings of joy, the desire and the pride of being a mother.
The baby is a new member totally dependent on the attention of the family members, and starts to occupy the space of the parents’ imagination and fantasies. At the same time that the birth of the baby becomes the consolidation of a couple’s desire, it can also represent an obstacle to their relationship, such as the loss of exclusivity.
Yes, some companions feel jealous of their wives, after all the woman is so involved with the baby that the man can feel left out, as a new rival starts to compete for the affection of his partner. Scenes of incomprehension and jealousy may arise , giving rise to incompatibilities between partners. Thus, the couple experiences vulnerability, and sexual activity can be both a risk factor and a factor of satisfaction and well-being, depending on the interaction between the two.
Regarding sexual behavior, the couple may experience a decrease in sexual desire and the frequency of sexual activity, as well as, in some cases, an increase in desire. After the baby’s first year of birth, sexual frequency tends to be even lower than in the period of pregnancy. Sexual interest may vary between the couple.
Women tend to be interested in caresses and tenderness during pregnancy and some partners may feel sexually disinterested. There are situations in which the woman may even start to avoid her partner. Some women may experience pain and discomfort during penetration, which alters their motivation for sexual activity.
Others may experience increased sexual satisfaction after giving birth. The fact is that the cultural aspects added to the psychological experiences of each one and the way the woman elaborates the bodily changes will interfere in the erotic desire.
Adaptation of the New Routine
The factors that contribute to the decrease in sexual desire and frequency are: the difficulty of adapting to the new role of parents; the stress of change and the emotions associated with the baby’s birth, the lack of availability of attention between the couple; the way a woman deals with her body image, as well as hormonal changes in the body.
The most frequent sexual dysfunction in the postpartum cycle is pain during intercourse , especially in women who are in their first pregnancy. It is important that the couple know and understand the psychological and bodily changes and understand the adaptation in this phase of life, and that they consider their difficulties, their emotions and respect their limits.
Psychologically educational interventions with a sexual health professional, counseling that encourages an open conversation between the couple about the difficulties and myths of that period, about their sexual needs and expectations, is an excellent opportunity for a greater understanding of this couple’s sexuality.
By Dra Mirian Lopes, Psychologist specialized in human sexuality Bachelor / Psychology degree from UNIP Postgraduate in Human Sexuality from the Faculty of Medicine of the University of São Paulo – FMUSP
Office: Rua Silvia, 383, Cerqueira Cesar São Paulo
Tel .: (11 ) 3262.1447 WatsApp: (11) 9-6609.7313 email: [email protected] and also know the site of Dr. Mirian clicking here
My name is Dr. Alexis Hart I am 38 years old, I am the mother of 3 beautiful children! Different ages, different phases 16 years, 12 years and 7 years. In love with motherhood since always, I found it difficult to make my dreams come true, and also some more after I was already a mother.
Since I imagined myself as a mother, in my thoughts everything seemed to be much easier and simpler than it really was, I expected to get pregnant as soon as I wished, but it wasn’t that simple. The first pregnancy was smooth, but my daughter’s birth was very troubled. Joana was born in 2002 with a weight of 2930kg and 45cm, from a very peaceful cesarean delivery but she had already been born with congenital pneumonia due to a broken bag not treated with antibiotics even before delivery.