Around the world, people believe that motherhood is the most rewarding part of life. But the transition of men and women to being a parent causes profound changes in their marriage and in their overall happiness, especially the issue of sex after the arrival of the children.
Parents usually receive a baby with high expectations, however, with the bond between mother and baby growing, other relationships are likely to start to wear out .
Main Difficulties of Sex After Children
There are several factors that make sex difficult after the arrival of the children. The first appear from the moment the mother comes home with her baby.
There are so many things to feel and think, such as breastfeeding , baby routine , postpartum pain, protection , body insecurity, sleep deprivation, exhaustion , that the last thing a woman can think about is sex.
After some time, reconcile home and work, children, homework, schedules for activities with the children, schedule for the activities themselves, which at the end of the day the bed is the best option. With this, the couple ends up distancing themselves, and sex after the arrival of the children becomes increasingly scarce.
How to Improve This Situation
There is no perfect recipe for a couple to have sex again after their children arrive as they did before having a baby. Dialogue above all is the most important part and the essential support in the relationship.
Talking to your partner about what ails you or bothers you is one way to make him understand that it is not purposeful. It is usually a phase and you need to try to reverse it in the best way.
How to Spice Up the Relationship
Of course, it is not always easy, so we have separated some tips to be worked with a single objective: to help improve sex after the arrival of the children.
Be good with yourself
This is the first piece of advice. Take time to take care of yourself, whether it’s physical activity or a day at the salon. Take a day to de-stress, if the woman is rested she will be more willing to take better care of your relationship, and the sex after the arrival of the children will not be shaken.
Work the mind
The brain is the largest sexual organ. You have to start with it to feel good about sex. If you are angry or anxious with your partner, you must first deal with the brain. The anger you are feeling will make that sex not happen and sex after the arrival of the children becomes even more complicated.
Do physical activity
When you feel good about your body, the better you feel. Physical exercise releases endorphins, which makes women feel sexier. After the birth of the children it will be difficult – no, impossible – to find time and energy to exercise (much less for sex), but it is necessary to organize this time so that you feel happier with your body.
Know your body
Touch yourself to know the sensitive areas of your body. Where does it make you feel good to touch? This knowledge is very important and useful for the person who loves her. Your partner can’t read your mind, so let him know where you like to be caressed.
The more you think about sex, the more you will feel. But for that to happen, reading a good book or erotic tales, listening to sexy music, watching hot movies will get you in the mood more quickly. After all, sex after the children arrive can be very intense and fun too.
Make small, unexpected romantic gestures
Massage your partner when your baby is already asleep. Dress comfortably and make you feel confident and good. This will make you notice how busy you are in trying to meet your needs.
This may not always happen, but finding a way to show that you have not forgotten it is a great start.
Exchange spicy messages
Yes, it may seem a little bold, but exchanging messages with the partner helps the couple to connect, showing the other that the desire exists and that it can be fulfilled by the other.
This helps to ignite that spark. Spontaneous sex is good, but when you get stuck in the daily routine, it becomes impossible and then sex after the arrival of the children really gets cold.
Prepare or environment
Certainly you have seen a romantic comedy where someone lit candles in the room before sex. This is called room preparation (and by the way, everyone is better at lighting candles in low light).
Your room has probably become messy and careless with the arrival of a new baby – clean up the mess and get it ready for a romantic evening, the rest will surely follow.
With children at home, we can’t always kiss the partner, sometimes the kiss is even forgotten during sex, because she needs to end quickly because of the children.
But it is important not to forget that, you are probably with your partner, because it all started with a kiss, so why forget about it now? Whenever you can kiss, don’t think it will end in sex, but try to enjoy the kiss for what it is and see how far it leads.
Take time off
Sex after the arrival of children is also usually difficult because mothers do not feel comfortable leaving their baby with a nanny to go out with them. For this reason, the ideal is to leave with a close relative or someone you can trust.
It is necessary to make an effort to go out once a month, with or without other couples. This does not have to mean spending a lot of money, but that time alone helps you to reconnect on a deeper level. It helps to bring back a time where it was just you. Before the kids made them forget what a full sex life was like.
No matter how tired you are, dive deeply under this sleep deprivation to gather the energy to give that girlfriend. The less sex you have, the less willing you are to have it. As well, the more you date, the more you will have to stick with your partner. So be willing, even when sex is the last thing on your tired mind.
Relationships are difficult enough on their own. Add children to the equation and you will certainly have challenges in maintaining a strong bond with your partner while playing the role of a mother.
That is why it is important not to forget that it was because of this connection between you that your family was created and sex after the arrival of the children cannot be a hindrance. So, get to work and good luck!
My name is Dr. Alexis Hart I am 38 years old, I am the mother of 3 beautiful children! Different ages, different phases 16 years, 12 years and 7 years. In love with motherhood since always, I found it difficult to make my dreams come true, and also some more after I was already a mother.
Since I imagined myself as a mother, in my thoughts everything seemed to be much easier and simpler than it really was, I expected to get pregnant as soon as I wished, but it wasn’t that simple. The first pregnancy was smooth, but my daughter’s birth was very troubled. Joana was born in 2002 with a weight of 2930kg and 45cm, from a very peaceful cesarean delivery but she had already been born with congenital pneumonia due to a broken bag not treated with antibiotics even before delivery.