That the life of a mother and father is a world of adventure, practically everyone knows, but it is only possible to understand the excess of zeal with the children when we become parents. When that small and helpless being was born, it gets to squeeze the heart to imagine that they can do something with it. But that squeeze will happen throughout your life and even when they are still big, adults and owners of their own nose, the squeeze will still happen!
Parental care for children is inevitable and the desire to put them in a bubble protecting them from the rest of the world is almost involuntary. Is this tactic healthy for children’s lives? What can this overzealousness cause in children’s lives? Are we not taking too much care and overprotecting them to prevent them from growing, evolving and learning to walk on their own legs in the same way that we once did? These are very common doubts among parents, especially mothers considered neurotic who end up depriving their children to know the world and discover things in a natural way for their growth.
What is the appropriate age for your child to go to the bakery alone? When will you have the maturity to go to and from school and cross the street safely? These are common day-to-day issues for parents who at the same time want to see their children grow and create responsibility to face the world, suffer from fear. However, some end up exaggerating their fears and “pruning” their children to grow up and discover the outside world , becoming children and adolescents totally dependent on their parents, who would be completely lost when they find themselves alone in any situation.
Unfortunately, there is no booklet that teaches us the right moment in each phase, after all, each child has their own pace of development and some end up creating and having responsibilities and more maturity than others. Of course, lifestyles and the routine of the home have a great influence on this point, since a child with a mother who has the availability and makes a point of taking it to and from school every day will be totally different from the one where the parents work and due to lack of option they need to go to school alone. Of course, the child who needs to do things on his own will learn faster and have greater autonomy in his life, but is that healthy too? There are so many doubts about what is right and wrong that we parents end up being confused about what we should do and how we should act.
The Evil of Overprotection
Children have to be children, play, have fun, study and take special care with hygiene, food and clothing. Your care does not necessarily need overprotection since it is not a bibelô that can break at any time. Child was born to grow, develop, discover the world and have his tastes . Find out over the years what you want to do in your future and what you find fun for the moment. We parents have the role of caring for and offering what children need, but we do not own them and much less can we prevent them from knowing the things of the world and that includes the bad things too, unfortunately.
The role of parents is to advise, teach, show and often take hands to show the way, but never do for them after all, they need to learn with their own hands and legs how they will do when we are no longer here. Overprotection starts from the first days of life, where the fear that people will take the baby with dirty hands and then with the crawling phase, that the baby will get hurt and with the first steps then? Each phase will bring a different concern and each of them the heart will tighten with concern.
The baby starts to walk and can you imagine him falling and hurting himself? Well, if he falls he will get up and walk again, and if he gets hurt there are remedies to solve, besides mommy’s kisses! We entered the feeding phase, do you not offer solid foods for fear of choking? But how long will the baby have only soup? Your son is 10 years old, the bakery is on the same block as your house, is it safe for him to go? If you don’t let him go the first time, you’ll never know if he can. Follow it from afar and check how it behaves until you feel safe enough to go totally alone !!
The first request to go to the cinema with friends or even to have a simple snack will arrive and prepare your heart because the fear will come with strength !! And we will not be able to say no forever, children need to grow no matter how much it hurts our soul . The fears of the dangers of the world will strike no matter how old they are and we will have to face them !! Being a father and mother is a delight, but it is the adventure that gives us the coldest belly in the world !!
My name is Dr. Alexis Hart I am 38 years old, I am the mother of 3 beautiful children! Different ages, different phases 16 years, 12 years and 7 years. In love with motherhood since always, I found it difficult to make my dreams come true, and also some more after I was already a mother.
Since I imagined myself as a mother, in my thoughts everything seemed to be much easier and simpler than it really was, I expected to get pregnant as soon as I wished, but it wasn’t that simple. The first pregnancy was smooth, but my daughter’s birth was very troubled. Joana was born in 2002 with a weight of 2930kg and 45cm, from a very peaceful cesarean delivery but she had already been born with congenital pneumonia due to a broken bag not treated with antibiotics even before delivery.