Motherhood is a dream for the vast majority of women, but it is not just flowers that it is made of. Women are made of flesh and bone, they get irritated, tired and need a moment just for them, which becomes much more difficult after becoming a mother, especially when the baby just wants to be held.
When the first child is born, the woman is dazzled by that little baby so dreamed and smelling. After all, how good it is to be with him in your arms and watch him sleep in the warmth of your body, isn’t it? But following the thought that this moment will pass so quickly that she will enjoy every second, the woman goes on littering for hours and spends 24 hours of her day with the little baby in her arms.
The months go by and life has to go on and that habit so delicious and appreciated in the first months begins to become exhausting, because even to take a bath the baby cannot be alone in the crib. To sleep is a true choreography, with a balance here and a balance there. To wash a dish, to spread a clothes or to do any housework is torture, as your baby does not accept to stay even in the stroller.
To give lap or not to give?
This is a subject that divides opinions, because many women and mothers defend the lap method full time , even though it is very sacrificing and exhausting. There is also the case of first-time mothers and, obviously, with the difficulty of adapting in the first days, she ends up experiencing difficulty in the first months. The baby has the means of communication as crying , and in the first days until they adapt to each other it is difficult to identify the reasons for so many tears, and each whimpering, the mother runs to catch him.
The baby learns everything very quickly, including by repetition so he will learn that when he cries someone will catch him immediately. Of course, Mom and Dad’s lap is the best place in the world and more comfortable than the crib, stroller and baby comfort.
So what will he want to stay for, eh? Changing this habit is extremely important for family harmony , since the baby is not the only member of the family, much less the center of the world. Unfortunately, the mother cannot be available 100% of her time, after all, there are things to do, right? Clothes to take care of, food to make and home to organize. The woman’s routine goes far beyond just lulling the baby and being with him in her arms.
There are ways to change this custom, even if it is very difficult at first. Parents have to be persistent, after all, this will not only give them more time but will also allow their baby to develop better, something that they will hardly get all the time on their laps.
What to Do to Remove the Costume from the Lap
Try to leave him in places where he can observe you from afar, talk to him and interact with toys and attractive shapes. The way is to show that he will be protected and close to Mom even if he is in a stroller. And that yes, the crib is a cozy and pleasant place to fall asleep after a warm bath and with a full tummy. Every change in customs requires time and insistence, but for the sake of the family it is worth tackling.
The baby just wants to sleep on his lap! And now?
The same question is repeated! Due to the custom since newborn, babies end up creating habits and just wanting to sleep on their lap is one of them. Either you get used to sleeping alone after breastfeeding from the beginning or you let him fall asleep in your arms. Just don’t forget that they get used to the lap even faster and it will last for many years and long nights.
You may even like to rock it, after all it is so nice to see you fall asleep in the warmth of your arms. The problem is that the baby ends up creating a certain dependency and will not be able to go back to sleep alone with each awakening, even in the middle of the night. Being able to fall asleep again without needing someone to pick it up and shake it, will make you more secure and independent, in addition to not becoming such an exhausting and tiring time for parents.
Is there a solution after you got used to it?
But if you already let your child get used to sleeping on your lap and now you are suffering from it, know that there is a solution! It is possible to change the routine and provide better habits for the baby, such as creating a ritual at bedtime that will make him accustom to falling asleep right after the preparations.
Create the Sleep Routine
You can create your own sleep ritual, give a nice bath, tell a story and make a lot of affection and then put it in the cradle. Usually this routine, being used every day in the same period, will make him accustom and relax, being able to fall asleep in a peaceful and alone way. For those who are already used to swinging their parents, it may take a while even with a lot of whining, but persistence and affection will make him understand the new routine.
When he cries, you can caress and soothe him , but without taking him out of the crib. Thus showing that the crib is indeed a comfortable and pleasant place to stay and that you are there on your side to caress him, and with great affection he will be able to fall asleep.
There are cases that parents are unable to perform and this “training” moment ends up becoming even more stressful than having to stand and swing. In such cases, assess the reasons and causes that he often does not get the problem is in the action of the parents themselves. For example, let him sleep so late !!
Place Times and Rules
Very tired children get agitated and tend to be more work at bedtime, so put to sleep at times appropriate for children, before he gets exhausted. Another point is, do not run to the cradle for every claim that the baby gives, as he needs to learn to calm himself and with the days he will feel safe and will be calm enough to fall asleep alone.
Having children is a constant training for parents and children, which unfortunately does not exist in a manual. We are constantly learning and we will make a lot of mistakes trying to get it right, but everything is done with a lot of love. So never blame yourself for what your child does or fails to do, after all, there is change for everything and when it comes to improving family life, it is always worth it!
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Photos: John Arnold, nmoira
Key Information Box:
- Motherhood is a dream for the vast majority of women, but it is not just flowers that it is made of.
- When the first child is born, the woman is dazzled by that little baby so dreamed and smelling. After all, how good it is to be with him in your arms and watch him sleep in the warmth of your body.
- This is a subject that divides opinions, because many women and mothers defend the lap method full time , even though it is very sacrificing and exhausting.
- Changing this habit is extremely important for family harmony , since the baby is not the only member of the family, much less the center of the world.
- The way is to show that he will be protected and close to Mom even if he is in a stroller.
- The problem is that the baby ends up creating a certain dependency and will not be able to go back to sleep alone with each awakening.
My name is Dr. Alexis Hart I am 38 years old, I am the mother of 3 beautiful children! Different ages, different phases 16 years, 12 years and 7 years. In love with motherhood since always, I found it difficult to make my dreams come true, and also some more after I was already a mother.
Since I imagined myself as a mother, in my thoughts everything seemed to be much easier and simpler than it really was, I expected to get pregnant as soon as I wished, but it wasn’t that simple. The first pregnancy was smooth, but my daughter’s birth was very troubled. Joana was born in 2002 with a weight of 2930kg and 45cm, from a very peaceful cesarean delivery but she had already been born with congenital pneumonia due to a broken bag not treated with antibiotics even before delivery.