ICU Mother – How to Deal with Separation

Having a child is one of the most beautiful gifts of a human being. The first moment you face that little being that was generated by you, causes a unique and indescribable sensation. And although it is a moment of extreme joy, it is also a delicate moment where several problems can happen, especially if the baby is prone to be born with some disease, if it is premature or if the delivery has had any complications.

All women are subject to go through this difficulty and have to face this very difficult moment. Being a mother in the ICU is leaving your heart beating out of your body in the care of others, in some cases, having to leave and say goodbye, even if you want to stay. It is leaving all your expectations and plans in the crowd of the nightmare to end soon.

But there are some things to do so that your baby’s hospital stay is not a complete nightmare. We are going to talk today about how to deal with this situation and the feelings that inevitably arise during this period.

How to deal with the Shock?

The first thing to keep in mind is that this is a reality. Accepting the condition your baby is in is fundamental for you to remain calm and deal with the shock of being a mother in the ICU.

Of course, this will not be easy , it will take time and there will be many moments of real despair, especially when there is a delay in improving the baby’s clinical condition or even when there is a worsening.

It should be borne in mind that a newborn baby is extremely fragile and, if he was born with a problem that took him to the ICU, this fragility is even greater. This means that your clinical picture will probably be unstable , that is, there will be days of improvement and worsening or days when the doctor simply will not know how to answer you about when he can be released.

This moment of rationalization is important to deal with the shock and start this journey together with your baby in the ICU. Just like the baby’s condition, these days will be unstable. Some will be better, with more hope and others can even be devastating. Keeping your feet on the ground and your head in place is important, as the baby will still need you a lot.

Ask All Your Doubts with the Doctor

Another important thing that must be done and that helps to deal with this situation is to clear all possible doubts with the ICU pediatrician. He is responsible for making the connection between your baby and you . It is he who will help you and give you the good or bad news that needs to be given.

It is very important that you ask everything you think is necessary, even if the questions seem silly, as this will calm you down and put you in the baby’s reality. Nothing worse than watching such a distressing moment without knowing exactly what is happening. All of these doubts can be resolved over time, as they arise, don’t be in a hurry!

An important tip that we can give is: Do not blame the doctor when there are worsening . He will be there to help you and to inform you about everything that happens to your baby. Hardly anything will really be his fault and taking out your frustration or despair on someone who is helping you does not improve the situation at all, so always keep control!

How to Dodge the Temporary Separation Between Mother and Baby

In addition to the fear of the baby’s health, one of the main pains of an ICU mother is certainly the separation she has from her child. A baby needs the touch, the mother’s affection in the first days, mainly for his recovery and also to feel safer here outside.

This bond between mother and child is essential to develop eternal bonds of love and affection, which will be built and captivated throughout life. So here are some tips for you to learn how to circumvent the temporary separation and deal with this situation more positively.

Enlist the Help of People Near You

Dealing with this type of shock is definitely not something you can do alone and without help, so having your friends, family and partner is always very important at this time.

The help of others is comforting. Seeing that people share their feelings makes one give strength to the other and this will help everyone to go through this situation without any despair. So do not despise the help when it appears, on the contrary, accept all kinds of support and affection that you receive, you will realize how important this is.

Try to Keep Calm

As difficult as that moment may seem, staying calm is essential. Think that your baby needs you a lot and now it is necessary for you to remain calm so that when he is discharged you are not totally mentally worn out. Obviously this is neither easy nor simple to do , but it is extremely necessary.

Visit your baby every day, follow as much as possible each care, see and ask about their treatments, talk to him and touch him whenever possible. It may seem a little strange, dealing with all this situation, connected machines and incubator together, but he needs to feel that you will always be in contact with him in some way. Talk to your baby and always calm him down, it will be important both for him and for you.

Keep Positive Thinking

One of the main tips to circumvent this temporary separation and make sure of it: It is only temporary. Over time you will have your baby in your arms, to care for, feed and watch him grow up happy and healthy.

It is clear that when your state of health is fragile, there are negative points, but you should not think about them. Firstly, because it does not help to think that the baby may have a worse problem or that he will need to stay in the hospital longer, it will only let him down and create fears and greater insecurities in you. Keep thinking positive, because it will give you the strength to face this situation.

Take Care of Your Health

During all this rush, worries, sadness, the woman’s health is neglected and we cannot help remembering that the woman has just given birth and needs care. With such concern it is difficult to even think about rest, but caution is needed.

In order for you to be ready, well and healthy to receive your baby when it is time for discharge, care is needed. This means that you must eat well , stay in a controlled emotional state and not let the situation shake you and rest whenever possible.

Not taking care of your health at this time will only aggravate the situation even more, since afterwards the baby will need you to feed and take care of him. Think about it!

Being a mother in the ICU is definitely not an easy task and demands a lot from your psychological condition. Something that can be worrying, once you have just come out of a pregnancy.

Either way, it is necessary to have the strength to fight alongside your baby and, at the right time, finally take him home. And that feeling is also indescribable, unbelievable. There are many emotions that involve the process of pregnancy until delivery and having a baby in the ICU not only causes many of these emotions to emerge, but also teaches valuable lessons about love, hope and patience, since all mothers in the ICU need a lot of these three things to get over this phase.

See also: Premature Babies – Special Care and Attention

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My name is Dr. Alexis Hart I am 38 years old, I am the mother of 3 beautiful children! Different ages, different phases 16 years, 12 years and 7 years. In love with motherhood since always, I found it difficult to make my dreams come true, and also some more after I was already a mother.

Since I imagined myself as a mother, in my thoughts everything seemed to be much easier and simpler than it really was, I expected to get pregnant as soon as I wished, but it wasn’t that simple. The first pregnancy was smooth, but my daughter’s birth was very troubled. Joana was born in 2002 with a weight of 2930kg and 45cm, from a very peaceful cesarean delivery but she had already been born with congenital pneumonia due to a broken bag not treated with antibiotics even before delivery.

Dr. Alexis Hart

My name is Dr. Alexis Hart I am 38 years old, I am the mother of 3 beautiful children! Different ages, different phases 16 years, 12 years and 7 years. In love with motherhood since always, I found it difficult to make my dreams come true, and also some more after I was already a mother.Since I imagined myself as a mother, in my thoughts everything seemed to be much easier and simpler than it really was, I expected to get pregnant as soon as I wished, but it wasn’t that simple. The first pregnancy was smooth, but my daughter’s birth was very troubled. Joana was born in 2002 with a weight of 2930kg and 45cm, from a very peaceful cesarean delivery but she had already been born with congenital pneumonia due to a broken bag not treated with antibiotics even before delivery.

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