Raising our children is never an easy task. Many face it, in fact, as the great challenge of life and it still is, since you are putting a person in the world to live in society. And when we stop to think about it, the worries only seem to increase, especially when we need to deal with problems that children bring, such as what happens to a lying child , for example.
Fear of Parents
Many parents go crazy trying to understand how to make their children better in this matter. But what will be the solution? Is it really necessary to look for a specialist? Is it possible to solve this type of problem yourself?
Can a lying child have serious consequences in the future? All of these doubts are pertinent and very common in parents who have problems with lies. But to better understand how to deal with this problem, we must first understand why this is happening.
How Normal Is It For A Child To Lie?
At around 3-4 years old, when the child is living in a “fantasy world” it is very common for him to make up stories that are not real. It is not something that causes a problem and these lies are characterized much more as exploration of the world than something done with bad intentions. However, this phase passes and it is necessary to take care to know if the child is already lying with awareness of what he is doing or if he is still fantasizing.
In many cases, children lie to avoid some kind of repression from their parents. It is the type of case that begins to generate concern, as we can see that it is not true and at the same time several doubts arise about how to deal with this type of situation.
How to Deal With a Lying Child?
If a child is lying to avoid some form of severe repression, he or she has probably experienced this repression, so reprimanding does not seem to be the most correct way to deal with this problem. But letting go is also not healthy , as the child may start to think that he can get rid of problems that way.
The most recommendable in these cases is to treat the child with sincerity and explain that lying is a bad thing. Remember: The child usually does what you set as an example and not what you say, so it is important to be an example within each one to act against the lies he tells.
Contrary Effect of Repression
The fact that the child tells a lie should not be marked as a horrible moment in his life. This means that severe repressions tend to have more negative than positive effects . For example, a child who feels humiliated about being scolded in public will feel very bad about the situation, which will generate a feeling of streak rather than revenge.
Explaining calmly that what he is doing is wrong and giving the child the opportunity to tell the truth can generate more positive results, as he will realize that he will have a chance to have an open dialogue with you.
Why are you lying?
It is important to find out why the lying child does what he does. The answer is not always obvious, but neither is it always the case that we need a professional to help us deal with this problem. The most common causes are, as we have already mentioned here, the lies invented to get rid of situations where they can be reprimanded.
If you find that your child is going through such a phase, avoid asking questions that put too much pressure on him. For example, if he should have taken a shower and didn’t, instead of asking “did you take a shower?” prefer to use questions like “why didn’t you take a shower?”, this will take away from the child the possibility of telling a lie, besides getting used to facing this type of situation with the truth.
Treatment For Compulsive Lie
There are some cases where children end up developing mythomania, or compulsive lying, are more rare cases in which psychological treatment is needed. It usually occurs due to a set of factors ranging from the genetic to the forms of social relationship that the child has with the world and is generally related to the child’s need for attention.
For this reason, many parents need to ask themselves if they are giving due attention to their children before blaming them for the excessive lies. And despite this, it is necessary to know that it is very common for children to invent fanciful stories , as we have already mentioned, and this should not be confused with compulsive lying, which has far more serious consequences.
Despite the need for treatment with a professional so that mythomania does not interfere with the child’s life, parents have a fundamental role for the child to be completely cured, given an example and following the advice given here in this article.
Problems That Lies Can Create in the Future
Scolding too much for the lies or letting it go as if it were nothing can be detrimental to the child’s psychological formation. When she starts to grow up, she will understand that doing this is wrong, but she will continue to think that it is a legitimate way to get rid of certain types of situation or responsibilities.
The consequence is that she can become an adult who prefers to escape situations through shortcuts like lying rather than facing them. The problem is that, in the future, this can be very harmful, because lies discovered at school or at work, for example, can lead to very complicated situations for the person. That is why it is so important to teach, for example, how to deal with situations without lying.
Dealing with a lying child can be a real challenge for parents, but it is necessary to understand the reasons why such a problem is happening before making decisions that can negatively affect the child.
It is not always the fault of the creator, although problems with children are often reflections of problems with parents . It is always recommended to seek professional help if the problem becomes something more serious, but you should also pay attention to what may be generating this type of problem to understand what is the best way to solve it.
Telling lies can have negative consequences for both the child and the parents in the long run, so try to resolve this as soon as possible, before the problem becomes any bigger.
My name is Dr. Alexis Hart I am 38 years old, I am the mother of 3 beautiful children! Different ages, different phases 16 years, 12 years and 7 years. In love with motherhood since always, I found it difficult to make my dreams come true, and also some more after I was already a mother.
Since I imagined myself as a mother, in my thoughts everything seemed to be much easier and simpler than it really was, I expected to get pregnant as soon as I wished, but it wasn’t that simple. The first pregnancy was smooth, but my daughter’s birth was very troubled. Joana was born in 2002 with a weight of 2930kg and 45cm, from a very peaceful cesarean delivery but she had already been born with congenital pneumonia due to a broken bag not treated with antibiotics even before delivery.