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For decades, women who choose to work have struggled with the balance between work and children . Many working mothers pursue the ultimate goal of “having it all” – a home life doing all their chores, a rewarding professional career and the energy to keep up with the demands of both, while still finding time for themselves.
Despite making great progress in their careers, the vast majority of women think that it is not possible to reconcile work and children . They see it as impossible to achieve success between career and motherhood.
The number of mothers who are really struggling with their well-being is staggering , and the reality of being a woman today trying to make everything work is frightening .
How a professional mom feels
A recent study revealed that 40% of the interviewed women who have children feel that they are “hanging by a thread”, to the point of abandoning their careers because they are unable to reconcile everything they want in life.
Despite this struggle, most working mothers voluntarily choose to balance a career and a family . For many of them claim that they still wanted to work even if money was not a problem.
What is the solution to reconcile work and children?
There is no answer to such a question, but there are definitely palliative solutions that will work in the long run . Just find the shape that suits your needs.
Many mothers have found that running their own business provides a much-needed sense of balance between their identities as a mother and as a professional.
When becoming a mother , their number one priority is their children , but they have a fantastic feeling of satisfaction when they are able to fulfill their personal and professional life.
Women clearly will not give up on the dream of reconciling work and children , but what they can do to improve the quality of their personal and professional life will surely do.
If you are a mother and work full time, you must have felt at some point in your life that you are failing your children because you have to divide your time between them and work. However, one of the solutions that aim to reconcile work and children is to plan.
Organize and follow some rules to find the right balance between the profession and the role as a mother. Like motherhood, career is also part of women’s dreams.
Free yourself from guilt
The biggest challenge is knowing how to deal with guilt and recognizing that giving up work can mean financial loss and personal dissatisfaction . Instead of feeling guilty about not having enough time with your children, think about how your family is benefiting from your work.
For example, the amount of educational opportunities that your children have and will have, like playing a sport, taking English classes and in the future going to a good university.
Many successful mothers have found different ways to be effective in both worlds , and this is due to the ability to see all the options they have and to focus on priorities .
But know that you will have good days and bad days. Do not be discouraged, no mother is alone in this struggle, there are groups where you can talk about it with other mothers who are in the same situation.
Be present in your children’s lives
It is important that your children feel that they are there , even if they are not physically there all the time. If your children are young children, it is a good idea to leave short videos of yourself talking to them, singing or reading a storybook out loud.
If you know you are going to be late or will not be able to attend your eldest child’s school event, for example, spend some quality time with him. Speak encouraging words and wish him well, and that everything goes well. Make sure someone films the event so that they can see it later and comment together. That way, he’ll know it’s there. Another option is to call the children and hear what their day was like and comfort them when they are worried.
Focus on Work
Just like you should do at home, while working, focus on what you are doing and make the most of your day, make it as productive as possible. That way, you can leave early or take a day off.
Have quality time at home
Having time for your children is essential not only on weekends, but also during the week. To do this, a family dynamic must be created, with activities in which everyone participates. If you and your partner don’t have a lot of time, you can have breakfast together .
Try to organize fun at least once a week. They can go out together, go to the park, have a picnic, go to the cinema, or even at home, have a movie night with popcorn , or get together to play board and card games. One should think about activities that adjust both to the time available and to the children’s satisfaction.
When making plans together, avoid talking about work or constantly looking at the phone. Instead, focus on the conversation you are having and try to bring it into your children’s interests, hobbies, and concerns.
If the children are older, ask them what they would like to do and plan to do it. But don’t forget, what is important is to be together, no matter what you do.
Don’t forget your companion
Remember your spouse. Sometimes, we are so busy with work, home and children that we tend to forget that they still exist or to give them the necessary attention.
So, get organized to prepare a good dinner at home or go out at least once a month. Just remember not to spend too much time talking about children or work.
Sort your priorities
The first step in reconciling work and children is to set the top priorities for you, your family and your work. Asking important questions about your different responsibilities can help you find out.
Ask yourself:
- What are the things that absolutely cannot be left out?
- What are the work projects you need to carry out, and what are the ideas you can expect.
- What are the necessary conditions that your family needs to remain in a stable financial situation?
- What do you personally need for your health, well-being and sanity to be able to be well and deliver on your goals?
- Will you need help both at work and at home?
Getting these answers will help you understand what your priorities really are.
Learn to delegate roles
Once you have prioritized your roles at home and at work, decide what is non-transferable and what someone else can do for you . Distributing some of your daily tasks to others, and trusting them to do them, will help you focus on what really matters.
The best way to keep your work-life balance is to hire someone who can help you keep things organized . For example: a daily cleaner, someone who wears clothes, or who brings fresh vegetables and vegetables, when there is no time to go to the fair. Nowadays there are a number of professionals for the most diverse branches of activities that make life easier for those who want to reconcile work and children.
Trusting your partner is also extremely important, of course if you have one. The father can be an extraordinary help in the household. Take some time each night to talk to him about the important tasks that need to be done the next day, to agree on what each one will do and stick to the plan.
Set boundaries
Saying “no” to projects and commitments that will cut your priorities is an essential skill in the act of juggling life-work. Setting boundaries both at home and at work will help you to stay present and focused on the task at hand, which is very important during family time.
When you are with your family and children, really be there . Do not sit down with them while you are solving a problem on the phone. Surrender yourself, be happy to be there and attentive to your personal relationships. It is not easy, but it is one of the most important things I can do to have a fulfilled life and a happy family .
Take time to take care of yourself
With so many responsibilities to reconcile work and children, it’s easy to put your family and career ahead of your own personal needs . Of course, some tasks have to be accomplished, but it is absolutely necessary to leave time free of commitments on your agenda to focus on yourself.
If you don’t take care of yourself and your health, you won’t be able to take care of your children or be successful in your career . Try to eat healthy meals, have time to exercise and don’t miss a night’s sleep. It is necessary to prioritize personal care over other things. A healthy body and a rested mind cooperate for a full life.
Your physical health is extremely important , but your emotional health (feeling happy and fulfilled because you are pursuing your dreams) is another essential factor for your overall satisfaction.
Find something you like to do, class with a musical instrument, crafts, go to a library, practice some sport, fit this activity into your week, for sure it will only bring you benefits .
The most important thing in this arduous task, which is to reconcile work and children, is to understand that it will not always be easy, that it can often seem too heavy, but that it is very rewarding to be a mother, a professional and to maintain your financial independence. So fight and make it happen !
See also: Father at Home with Children – Role Reversal
My name is Dr. Alexis Hart I am 38 years old, I am the mother of 3 beautiful children! Different ages, different phases 16 years, 12 years and 7 years. In love with motherhood since always, I found it difficult to make my dreams come true, and also some more after I was already a mother.
Since I imagined myself as a mother, in my thoughts everything seemed to be much easier and simpler than it really was, I expected to get pregnant as soon as I wished, but it wasn’t that simple. The first pregnancy was smooth, but my daughter’s birth was very troubled. Joana was born in 2002 with a weight of 2930kg and 45cm, from a very peaceful cesarean delivery but she had already been born with congenital pneumonia due to a broken bag not treated with antibiotics even before delivery.
