Very difficult to encounter contradictory feelings at this point in life. Imagine you have so many plans for the next few years, and suddenly discover a pregnancy that was not in your immediate plans and sometimes not even in the future. Unplanned pregnancy can become a time of immense guilt for the couple and even only for the woman who is pregnant. Although we know how pregnancy can be prevented, slips do happen and, even though I don’t believe that soon with us, right in that sex will consequently result in a new life, it comes and everything! Despite the fright it may cause, unplanned pregnancy is just like planned, a magical moment in life. There is no greater blessing than the arrival of a new life.
However, not everyone is prepared for this surprise and may not handle the novelty as well as some people, so it is very important to have someone to advise you before you can take any action regarding the pregnancy, tell family members etc. So, this article is ideal for you to be able to deal with the feelings of an unplanned pregnancy.
1st step: Wait for the scare to pass . Although it is completely unexpected and sometimes unthinkable to be pregnant at that moment, the pregnancy will gradually be assimilated. If you already expected to have a child at some point in your life, it may be less difficult for you to fall. I think everything will finally be resolved when the first ultrasound is done. Seeing your baby’s heart beat, brings a new perspective on the new phase of life and will make you sure that being a mother is a gift given by God.
2nd step: Talk to your partner. Feeling that you are not alone is key. Even though it is not a stable relationship, Daddy has to know and you finally face and enjoy the situation together. If the baby is the result of an affair or stay, it can be more complicated initially, but still, believe me, everything will be fine. But if you have a longer relationship, everything will work out better and faster.
3rd step: Look for a trusted doctor. Starting prenatal care as soon as possible is essential. The doctor will also advise on the mix of feelings. Do not be ashamed to expose your position, that of being completely surprised by this new pregnancy. If there is any doubt about dates, he will guide you and tell you when the baby was conceived. Remember: your health and that of the baby comes first.
4th step: tell the family.If your family is conservative and pregnancy is not the result of marriage, there may be some resistance. But fortunately nowadays, it has been increasingly normal to become pregnant without a consolidated relationship. If you suspect that your family will experience any resistance, look for the most flexible and understanding person in the family to help introduce the newness to the family. We can often be surprised by the reaction of family members (father, mother and grandparents). Good advice is to let everyone else talk, what really matters is your family, others will talk whether you like it or not, so don’t mind it. If the relationship is consolidated (married, engaged, etc.) the pregnancy may not be so surprising for family members. To break the ice, create fun ways totell about pregnancy .
And When Do Feelings Remain Contradictory?
Sometimes we can feel bad for a while. How did this happen? Right now? What about my plans? You may feel guilty for not accepting the pregnancy as it should theoretically be. You see happy people when you receive the news of the pregnancy, and soon you, when the pregnancy arrives, do not have these feelings either in the first place or over time. It is not easy to deal with the obligation to accept the pregnancy, nor with the demands that start to appear from yourself , sometimes even from those around you.
It is very important to remember that the feelings throughout the pregnancy will get right. As the pregnancy progresses, the feelings of acceptance will appear and this, as a result of the mother’s love that will naturally emerge. So, as I said above, the orientation is to talk to your doctor, because if acceptance takes too long to arrive, the doctor may indicate psychological monitoring. It is not a shame, on the contrary, it is worrying that he does not seek help. Do not feel guilty for feeling bad, believe me , you will not be the first or the last woman to face an unplanned pregnancy.
My name is Dr. Alexis Hart I am 38 years old, I am the mother of 3 beautiful children! Different ages, different phases 16 years, 12 years and 7 years. In love with motherhood since always, I found it difficult to make my dreams come true, and also some more after I was already a mother.
Since I imagined myself as a mother, in my thoughts everything seemed to be much easier and simpler than it really was, I expected to get pregnant as soon as I wished, but it wasn’t that simple. The first pregnancy was smooth, but my daughter’s birth was very troubled. Joana was born in 2002 with a weight of 2930kg and 45cm, from a very peaceful cesarean delivery but she had already been born with congenital pneumonia due to a broken bag not treated with antibiotics even before delivery.