Alessandra realized the biggest dream of her life, despite all the complications today she has a beautiful daughter and an exciting story!
I think that like any woman, when I finally decided I wanted to get pregnant, I already started making plans and calculations, thinking that soon afterwards I would have my positive. Sweet illusion, time passed and nothing could be achieved, I changed the doctor, I did all possible and imaginable exams until finally discovering I had an endometriosis. I treated it and new complications arose, and so it was more than 2 years until finally and already completely discouraged, I managed to get pregnant.
I enjoyed every minute of my long-awaited pregnancy, and the big day arrived, I went into labor, and like almost every first-time mother, I wanted to have a normal birth, breastfeed and be a perfect mother. My delivery was as normal as I wanted it to be, my daughter was born beautiful and healthy, in short everything had been worth it. But, unfortunately, I had complications in the postpartum period and the magical moment started to turn into a very complicated period. I spent a week in the hospital, having to lie down without even lifting my head, with terrible migraines, what they call headache from anesthesias, this due to postpartum procedures. You do not know what it is to breastfeed , without being able to move and in pain, a lot of pain.
The first three months of breastfeeding are not easy, it hurts, it is difficult to get the handle, you always think you don’t have enough milk, the milk is weak. Imagine all this lying down, unable to move and everyone around you wanting you to bottle your daughter and that’s it. Guys, all I wanted to do was exclusively breastfeed my daughter until she was 6 months old, but to see her crying even after breastfeeding and I in that situation, there was no way, I was forced to surrender to the supplement. And to my surprise, she continued to take my breast in the same way, and it was like that until she was 2 years and 4 months old. It is in these moments, that it is perceived, that everything that says that it has to be this way, it is not quite that way, that more than hearing ‘rules’ or what experts say is right, we have to listen to our heart mother.
Do you think it ended there ?! Unfortunately not, I returned home happy , thinking that everything would be fine now, but the days went by and I was sad, insecure, not hungry, very sensitive. But, like all first-time moms, I thought it was normal, that it would pass, that I would overcome it alone. Again ‘sweet illusion’, my daughter was already 4 months old and I was getting worse, again it was not as I imagined, as I was told it could be, nobody told me that I could have postpartum depression. And even if they told me, I certainly wouldn’t believe it would happen to me, me, who fought so much, who wanted so much, never! But it happened, it was another difficult stage, very difficult, I had fulfilled the big dream of my life and I couldn’t feel happy, how ?! It made me worse, because I felt guilty, for not living happily as I imagined.
After some time of treatment, I finally managed to be reborn from the ashes, that’s exactly the feeling, I was able to look around and smile again, enjoy my baby, really enjoy the maternity, she was already 7 months old. I had no rejection for her at any time, but at times I felt much more fragile than she. The first months demand a lot from a mother , there are few moments of sleep, we can no longer go to the bathroom quietly, let alone take a shower as before, the baby demands a lot, I lived for this and only for this, while I was in the hospital. depression, there was no Alessandra, only Giovana’s mother, and this is very bad. It took 3 and a half years of treatment for depression, because it took me a long time to get help.
Four years after I had my daughter, I became pregnant again last year, a boy, but I lost at 6 months pregnant and again it was not as I imagined, a completely indescribable pain. Everyone imagined that I would have a new depression, even me, but in those moments we discover a strength that was not known to have, a strength inspired by my daughter, my family, friends and everything that I had already overcome. Today I have a beautiful, healthy, 5-year-old daughter with the most beautiful smile in the world and an angel in the sky that I love, even though she spent so little time with me. On difficult days, just look at my daughter’s face and that’s it, any problem becomes small, and let’s move on, because I’m sure I’ll overcome any fear and have another baby, this time with my feet on the ground and then yes to get the most out of motherhood.
Of all these girls, the advice I can give you is to not try to be a perfect mother, do not want to follow strict maternity rules and advice , being a mother is unique, it is exclusive! Being a perfect mother is trying to be the best mother you can be, a possible mother. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, yes we really need help even if you don’t have any problems, you won’t be less a mother for that! If you are trying to fulfill your dream, keep fighting, because everything will be worth it, believe me! Alê Nunes, mother, woman, wife, professional, and blogger in her spare time. I created the blog to try to help other women on this path that goes from Fertility to Maternity!
My name is Dr. Alexis Hart I am 38 years old, I am the mother of 3 beautiful children! Different ages, different phases 16 years, 12 years and 7 years. In love with motherhood since always, I found it difficult to make my dreams come true, and also some more after I was already a mother.
Since I imagined myself as a mother, in my thoughts everything seemed to be much easier and simpler than it really was, I expected to get pregnant as soon as I wished, but it wasn’t that simple. The first pregnancy was smooth, but my daughter’s birth was very troubled. Joana was born in 2002 with a weight of 2930kg and 45cm, from a very peaceful cesarean delivery but she had already been born with congenital pneumonia due to a broken bag not treated with antibiotics even before delivery.