A very serious matter that requires a lot of dedication, a firm pulse and wisdom is the education of children. However, with the busy life of the parents, the help of others in their education is almost fundamental or I can say necessary. Many parents trust a large portion of their children’s day in the hands of educators in schools, nannies or maids or with grandparents, but how good is that? And when the grandmother’s participation in the children’s child is 100%?
We know about the difficulties of a mother to work outside the home and the strong decision of who to leave her greatest treasure . It is not an easy decision and that is why many women abandon their careers after pregnancy precisely because they are unable or have someone to count on in such a difficult task and with so much responsibility. But for those who are fortunate enough to have their mothers to care for, educate and raise their children, they also have their difficulties since it is very difficult or practically impossible for someone to educate like their own mother or follow the recommendations as they would like.
The saying that “grandma is a mother with sugar” is true and grandma’s role is not to educate but to enjoy! But what about when this grandmother has the responsibility to raise her grandchildren? How to delegate to grandma a firm, rigid and demanding role? How much can grandmother’s participation in raising children hinder ? This is a fact that all parents who need a grandmother to take care of their children face, after all, grandma’s pampering will always happen. Foods and treats that parents would not give during the week, grandma will offer. The rules and schedules that parents set will not always be adhered to. Just a whimper that grandma’s heart softens and even if she tries to strictly follow the dads’ recommendations and demands, she will hardly be able to do all of them without giving Grandma’s touch.
Being grandma and grandpa must be really wonderful !! Imagine watching your generation continue, bearing fruit and you can follow birth, growth and even better without being your responsibility? Oops, did you say responsibility? If you don’t have to take care of your grandchildren, do you? The fact is that the vision, the love and the relationship from grandmother to grandchildren is different from mother and father to children and no matter how much you want to follow the instructions of the parents from the bottom of your soul, the “votern” instinct will speak louder.
And When does grandma interfere in the education of grandchildren? How to deal?
Difficult is when the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, daughter (o) and mother are shaken or shaken due to grandma’s constant interference in the education of grandchildren. Not all people find it easy to talk, talk and explain what is upsetting or disagreeing. Afraid to hurt or upset the very dedicated and loving grandmother, she ends up swallowing certain situations and letting the situation get worse and worse.
One thing we have to agree, both parents and grandparents do everything for their children / grandchildren and agree that the focus is on their well being, so defining, talking and agreeing on what is good and what is not for their education when grandparents have an active participation in their education is fundamental. We must not forget that the education of our children is the sole obligation of the parents and we must not demand or impose this from the grandparents. Putting rules on the children and asking for the grandmother’s collaboration showing why they need to be followed can be one way.
And when do those moments occur when the grandmother passes over the mother’s order and gives in to the grandson’s tantrums? This is a point that the great majority of parents complain about in the relationship between mother / father vs. grandmother and it really is not easy to deal with, since the blood heats up at the same time. But take a deep breath, calm down and when the nervous passes, sit down to talk to the grandmother and show how wrong her attitude was and how negative it can be in the child’s education .
If the grandmother only lives on weekends and special dates, it will be easier to keep the role, but if she is present in the daily lives of children helping to take care, the conversation work on how to educate, how to do it should be daily and an agreement made to avoid disagreements. Always remember, grandma’s role is not a mother, it is not to educate grandchildren so it never covers this position of those who love their child so much !! Asking for collaboration in the method you chose to educate your child is essential, but she has already raised her children and will want to repeat with yours, obviously with a little more sugar!
My name is Dr. Alexis Hart I am 38 years old, I am the mother of 3 beautiful children! Different ages, different phases 16 years, 12 years and 7 years. In love with motherhood since always, I found it difficult to make my dreams come true, and also some more after I was already a mother.
Since I imagined myself as a mother, in my thoughts everything seemed to be much easier and simpler than it really was, I expected to get pregnant as soon as I wished, but it wasn’t that simple. The first pregnancy was smooth, but my daughter’s birth was very troubled. Joana was born in 2002 with a weight of 2930kg and 45cm, from a very peaceful cesarean delivery but she had already been born with congenital pneumonia due to a broken bag not treated with antibiotics even before delivery.