The subject of dating in adolescence is something I always thought about having an open mind and being prepared enough to face and deal with when my daughters reached adolescence, but I saw that I am not when my turn came. I was forced to see that I lost some control, their wills can no longer be controlled as we did when they were younger. Desires start to appear, the wills are being imposed and what we think is best for them, will not be heard as before.
We generate our little baby for 9 months, raise, educate, dedicate and offer our best to them and in return they grow so fast, why? Suddenly the hormones start to bubble, curiosity appears and the dating chat appears. Welcome to adolescence !
Nowadays dating in adolescence has become something so trivialized, it lost the “charm” of the past where the little couple dated through hidden letters and notes, they met, were enchanted with each other, kissed with the eyes without even being touch. Today everything is scandalized, teenagers “stay”, kiss, exchange caresses publicly and finally reach the most naturally in the world and change partners instantly. The great truth is that dating in adolescence is becoming a thing of the past, the thing now is to “get it all” and not get stuck with just one partner.
Some or I can say that unfortunately a great majority of adolescents, due to the lack of parental guidance , advice and life direction, end this phase that should be full of enjoyment and knowledge, for an early adult life. Due to the lack of counseling, dating in adolescence ends up becoming a pre-marriage, and what should be such a simple matter becomes a serious matter, with risks even of a possible and undesirable pregnancy .
Tips for Dealing with Teen Dating
That is why I advise all parents to talk more with their children, to be alert to what is happening around them. Be aware with whom you are getting involved, after all in adolescence they think they are super heroes, unbeatable and anything can happen to others except them, and parental supervision is paramount at any age. Giving freedom does not mean letting go of the reins and allowing them to do what they want. It is possible to give freedom by imposing limits and rules , after all in adolescence they are still building character and often act without being aware of the consequences.
Parents of boys should pay attention to the advice they give and mainly to support dating in adolescence and to reinforce macho impulses as they should “get general”. Boys must be educated to respect girls and treat them with dignity and education , the time for raising male chauvinists and the girls’ mother having to hold them has passed. Respect and education must be taught to both sexes. Prepare yourself psychologically and with information and have a conversation about sexuality, about relationships, explain the risks, play fair and be as safe as possible on the subject and put your point of view. They may not strictly follow what we say, but at least they will know your opinion on certain subjects and will think before you do it for sure.
Being friends with the children is essential, in addition to creating a healthy relationship between parents and children, he will feel more secure in order to be able to tell something or ask any questions, and even ask for advice. Avoid prohibitions , this will make them hide, and may have an even more serious problem, try to direct them in the best possible way and thus they will live this phase in peace and tranquility, if it is possible for parents to go through this phase of dating in adolescence with that feeling.
Photo: Pedro Ribeiro Simões
My name is Dr. Alexis Hart I am 38 years old, I am the mother of 3 beautiful children! Different ages, different phases 16 years, 12 years and 7 years. In love with motherhood since always, I found it difficult to make my dreams come true, and also some more after I was already a mother.
Since I imagined myself as a mother, in my thoughts everything seemed to be much easier and simpler than it really was, I expected to get pregnant as soon as I wished, but it wasn’t that simple. The first pregnancy was smooth, but my daughter’s birth was very troubled. Joana was born in 2002 with a weight of 2930kg and 45cm, from a very peaceful cesarean delivery but she had already been born with congenital pneumonia due to a broken bag not treated with antibiotics even before delivery.