Child sexuality is a subject that ends up becoming taboo for most parents. They never know how to react to certain situations and how to clarify children’s doubts. Over time, the little ones will realize that there is a difference between people, between man and woman and even between animals.
The difference in the bodies and genitals begins to attract attention and raises questions, sometimes embarrassing for parents. The discovery goes beyond the visual, as they begin to notice that when they touch, they feel sensations that were previously unknown, and the main discovery phase begins. The discovery of child sexuality is as natural as learning to walk and talk, sooner or later it will happen. One should not forbid, nor cut, let alone deprive the discovery of a child, especially when he is getting to know his own body, through touch. Children are not evil, they are curious ! Eroticism is an adult thing, you bet!
It is normal for schools to report and see physical contact between children, for example, to find a girl wanting to see the boy’s “pee” and vice versa, this when not children of the same sex. This is all part of the discovery of child sexuality, of wanting to see if the little friend has the same or different sexual organ than his, or the mother, sister and everyone who has contact. Obviously it has to be explained in a coherent way that certain situations cannot occur, being careful not to make the situation as something prohibited and bringing embarrassment. I remember an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie where a little boy said his father was a gynecologist and saw vaginas all the time. At the end of the scene he said that boys have a penis and girls have a vagina!
How to Deal with Findings and Questions?
Scholars indicate that children begin their discoveries of child sexuality earlier than we think. Until the age of two, where the oral phase is so present, they discover the pleasure of breastfeeding, bottle feeding and sucking the pacifier, bringing a feeling of comfort. Reaching the age of 3 or 4, the findings go to the genitals and anal organs . Where they learn to control their body more, being the phase of defrosting . In this phase they are able to hold the stool and feel pleasure in releasing the pee and the coconut. The touches in the intimate regions begin to occur, explore each corner and naturally occur until 5 years of age.
At this stage, it is natural to start asking questions about the babies’ conception, where they came from and how they are made. It is recommended that you do not lie and respond naturally, even if you deprive yourself of certain details that should be clarified in the future. Try to answer exactly what the child asks, without going into greater detail and deeper issues. Children tend to touch each other where there is a funny “tickle”! Yes, and this is a terror for some parents, especially those with more strict education, but it is healthy and natural for them to touch each other in private. Child sexuality is one of the first discoveries and must be respected as long as it has the right proportions for the child’s age.
Many children around the world lose their innocence daily, being victims of sexual abuse . Before they even discover their body and pleasures, they are traumatized by the brutality of an inhuman adult who takes away their childhood. Usually children who are victims of this situation exhibit strange behaviors for their age group, which is considered by psychologists as a cry for help because they do not know how to explain what happens. On the other hand, there are children who live with adults who are not limited to a safe sex life, either by carelessness or by thinking that the child is not aware of sexual mattershowever, they do feel and see even if they don’t understand it properly. If a child catches his parents in a situation of coitus, for example, he may not understand what it is all about, he can imagine a game and in some cases even the father is mistreating the mother.
Knowing how to deal with this situation is very important, talking about the importance of love between a couple and not putting caramoles on the child’s head. It is worth saying that when a couple love each other, they are very close and this is great for adults. So when your child asks something sexual and you’re not ready to clarify, don’t lie! Take time to come up with a good answer.
See also: Family nudity, yes or no? How to deal?
My name is Dr. Alexis Hart I am 38 years old, I am the mother of 3 beautiful children! Different ages, different phases 16 years, 12 years and 7 years. In love with motherhood since always, I found it difficult to make my dreams come true, and also some more after I was already a mother.
Since I imagined myself as a mother, in my thoughts everything seemed to be much easier and simpler than it really was, I expected to get pregnant as soon as I wished, but it wasn’t that simple. The first pregnancy was smooth, but my daughter’s birth was very troubled. Joana was born in 2002 with a weight of 2930kg and 45cm, from a very peaceful cesarean delivery but she had already been born with congenital pneumonia due to a broken bag not treated with antibiotics even before delivery.