Gone is the time that a woman’s place was taking care of home and a man being responsible only for working outside. Gone were the times when machismo reigned and male children were treated like little kings and prepared to have a wife who did the same thing. Well, nowadays the place for men and women is wherever they want!
Even with the passing of the years and with the change and modernization of everything, many people are still unable to live this update. With their heads backwards they insist on something that no longer exists. When it comes to helping at home there is no sex, everyone must learn, collaborate and fulfill their obligations together with others . What ends up becoming a small discussion and sharing opinions, but after all, boys should help at home or not?
Recently, we saw on social media a photo of a boy helping his mother in the kitchen that she proudly posted showing how much she was helped and how proud she was. Millions of comments and shares took place, many congratulating the mother’s role for teaching her son to do everything, to be responsible and to be helping her. Thousands more stoned the mother’s attitude, pointing out how exploitation or even “boy shouldn’t be learning this”. And then we ask, why not?
Can’t a boy know how to cook? Can’t boys know how to take care of their home? Can’t boys live alone and take care of their own home? Can’t boys get married and still help with housekeeping? Yes, they can do everything !! Learning how to care for the home will not change your sexuality at all as some sexists believe. And why not teach them from an early age how to do it? And better, teach them that they should collaborate with the house and their families and that with everyone’s help everything is easier and less burdened for the mother. Teaching them responsibility, awareness and care for things does not hurt , on the contrary they make them responsible men with their things, dynamic, helpful and best of all, they will know how to take care of their things, when their parents are absent.
Is There the Right Age to Start Helping at Home?
Taking care of yourself and giving autonomy are lessons that children should learn from a very young age. When we drink, we need to take care and do everything from food to hygiene, but as they grow, we teach them to do it themselves. Brush your teeth, put on your clothes and eat alone, even if your mother’s instinct is that you must do everything, you need to teach them.
We can see when they are in their 2s, how they try to do things themselves. In fact, they try to repeat everything they see us doing with them. And this is the exact moment to start stimulating the child, of course everything has limits and there are things they will do and we will have to do it again , but what counts is learning. Helping to collect the scattered toys, even putting the dirty clothes in the basket, helping to take the shopping out of the bags are examples of things they can do and they will feel very important when they do it.
In the range of 3, 4 up to 5 years of age they start to impose themselves more, want more and their help ends up more disturbing than helping rs. But we must not stop and make it stop, this is part of its growth and development, including its autonomy. Always give tasks that you can accomplish, keeping them involved in homework will make them want to help more and more. Let them dust the house, collect objects scattered around the house and maybe even help with bedding?
The excitement will be so great that he will decide to tidy up the clothes drawers, the shoe rack, set the dinner table in the middle of the afternoon and be “a little busy” in the house. However, it is the role of parents to place rules and limits on what they can and cannot do. In this list he is dealing with dangerous objects that put his life at risk, such as cleaning products, knives and even with the stove and pots that are on him. In case you release the use of any object that presents risks, adult supervision is essential.
Children from 6 to 9 years of age tend to be even more efficient, offer help and are happy to carry out their tasks. If you delegate responsibilities to him you will feel the desire to help more and more. Washing some dishes, washing the salad, vacuuming the room and taking out the garbage are simple functions that can be carried out with simplicity for this group. As they grow up, maybe the excitement will not be the same and everything will become “a pain in the ass”, but the learning you gave from a young age will make him always have the responsibility.
Children from 10 years old already experience the taste of entering adolescence and everyone knows how difficult and complicated this phase is. But with a lot of play on the waist, a firm wrist and patience, we parents managed to win this stage more with praise , delegating more and more functions and tasks so that they learn to manage on their own and become independent adults. Showing them how much they help and how efficient they are in dividing tasks makes them feel important, even though they hate having to do it. Just put the psychology of motherhood into practice that will be all right !! Good parents are not those who do everything for their children, but who teach how to walk on their own legs!
My name is Dr. Alexis Hart I am 38 years old, I am the mother of 3 beautiful children! Different ages, different phases 16 years, 12 years and 7 years. In love with motherhood since always, I found it difficult to make my dreams come true, and also some more after I was already a mother.
Since I imagined myself as a mother, in my thoughts everything seemed to be much easier and simpler than it really was, I expected to get pregnant as soon as I wished, but it wasn’t that simple. The first pregnancy was smooth, but my daughter’s birth was very troubled. Joana was born in 2002 with a weight of 2930kg and 45cm, from a very peaceful cesarean delivery but she had already been born with congenital pneumonia due to a broken bag not treated with antibiotics even before delivery.