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The great dream of many women is to have a child. Carrying that little person that was generated by you and that spent months developing along with your transformation as a mother is an inexplicable feeling. But life often surprises us in an unexpected and terrible way.
When a child or baby dies, dealing with this kind of grief can be the most difficult thing in many people’s lives, but it is something that needs to be dealt with in order for life to move on. To be a mother of an angel is to have a feeling of anguish kept in your chest forever. But there are ways to make it lessen throughout your life so you can move on.
Gestational Loss
Anyone who sees your situation from the outside often fails to understand your connection to the life that was being generated within you. There are several feelings: Sadness, frustration, guilt, anger, loneliness among many others that a mother feels when she loses her baby during pregnancy. And since this is seen as something less serious than losing a child that has already been born, perhaps many do not understand their pain.
The best thing to do at this point is to rely on your family, your partner and close friends . The support of these people will be essential for you to be able to go through this situation and move on in life, whether trying to have another baby in the future or simply go about your life with happiness.
Child Loss
When you lose a child, the solarization around you tends to be much greater. This is because the impact of such a young human being losing his life is very great on people. Being able to see what happened touches every human being . But the way to deal with the loss is the same when you lose a baby while you are pregnant.
The feeling of being a mother at a time like this is an inexplicable pain and something that no one ever wants to go through. The support of those closest to you, again, is the most important thing for you right now.
How to Overcome the Loss?
In addition to the support of the people around you, you need to do a good mental job to overcome this huge loss. This is usually a time when you feel alone in the world and want to be isolated from everything. Fighting this will, this feeling, is important. It is necessary to be aware that there are other people in life who also need you and want to see you well.
Other people also feel the pain of loss, even if it is not like yours, but knowing how to support others at this time is also of enormous value, as people can imagine what you are going through. Many mothers blame themselves for the death of their children, even when they have nothing to do with it. This guilt is a very common feeling, but it needs to be combated all the time.
No mother wants harm to her child and that was certainly not the case. It is necessary to think that you did everything you could during his life and that this situation did not depend on your control. The battle against guilt will be daily and very difficult, but it is also very necessary. Visits to a psychologist specializing in the subject can greatly help an angel mother to overcome her loss. These visits, however, cannot be forced by others. The mother needs to be willing to receive this type of help, because if she is very closed and unwilling, the meetings with the psychologist will not only not be effective, but they can also generate more bad feelings in the mother.
Union is Important
Finding other people who deal with the same pain can help you a lot, especially in the grieving period, where you deal with many feelings at once. Of course, this is not a definitive solution to your problems, but sharing your feelings with people who know this type of pain can be positive, since you know that you are not alone in this situation. There are several groups that hold meetings with angel mothers exactly in order to make the shared pain lessened in some way.
It is not possible to say that you can recover the happiness of the days you lived before your child left. There is a scar that will stay with you forever , but it is possible and necessary to continue living. The choice of whether you will decide to try to have another child in the future does not have to be made now. Take your time, think about yourself and focus on what makes you most comfortable right now. Time will help to heal that wound. As much as it is very painful, you will have to accept your new life, your new condition. So I can start over.
Losing a child is a pain that cannot be described in words. It is something that, in order to be relieved, needs affection, a human touch, loved ones close by, people with the same pain sharing their experiences. To deal with this loss, it is necessary to have humanity close by. Being a mother of an angel means that you have gone through the greatest pain in life that anyone can go through.
It doesn’t matter if you lost your child during pregnancy , as a baby or as a child. The relationship that a mother creates with her child is very strong and never ceases to exist. It is important to seek help, gather the strength to get up and get on with life. There is always a way to make this pain give you strength to continue.
See Also: Pregnancy After Miscarriage – When to Resume Attempts?
My name is Dr. Alexis Hart I am 38 years old, I am the mother of 3 beautiful children! Different ages, different phases 16 years, 12 years and 7 years. In love with motherhood since always, I found it difficult to make my dreams come true, and also some more after I was already a mother.
Since I imagined myself as a mother, in my thoughts everything seemed to be much easier and simpler than it really was, I expected to get pregnant as soon as I wished, but it wasn’t that simple. The first pregnancy was smooth, but my daughter’s birth was very troubled. Joana was born in 2002 with a weight of 2930kg and 45cm, from a very peaceful cesarean delivery but she had already been born with congenital pneumonia due to a broken bag not treated with antibiotics even before delivery.
