14 Motherhood is a gift from God, a feeling so strong, so inexplicable that it is impossible to describe. The desire to be a mother and father is something natural that usually occurs in childhood, along with your plans to form a family, have your home and your adult life. But and when they are unable to fulfill this desire for greater forces, how can they keep that love to themselves?
The option of adopting a child is not easy! Even more so for those who tirelessly try to have a biological child. For others, the desire to adopt comes from time, it has been growing in their hearts and when it succeeds it is a dream come true. However the fact is that even for those who have long wished or for those who have decided at the moment for adoption will have to face years and years, struggles and have a lot of patience to achieve . Adoption in Brazil is unfortunately not a very fast process, but it is a worthwhile battle for those who have so much love in their hearts.
The first step towards adoption is to decide and then look for ways to file the adoption request. A public defender or a private lawyer are the professionals prepared to start the adoption list at the childhood court registry office in your city. You will go through the approval process and only after that will you be in the national registration of applicants for adoption. Each region has its requirements and forms of assessment, but usually a psychosocial preparation course is required. After completing the course, parents will undergo psychological assessment, interviews and home visits that will indicate their physical, emotional and financial conditions to have an adopted child. This assessment is forwarded to the childhood court judge and the public prosecutor’s office that will determine the release of the adoption.
During the evaluation process, they will be asked about the profile of their adopted child and what they are looking for in this child. Data such as age, skin color, sex, if you have more siblings and health conditions are questioned to align with the children that exist for adoption. The law states that the child who has siblings, must not be separated,therefore, those who accept to adopt brothers have preference in this case. After going through the entire process and already having a license, you are approved on the list of adopters in your state. Your registration is valid for two years throughout the Brazilian territory. And now you will have to wait for God’s hand to appear a child with the profile you want! When the child appears, the childhood stick will contact you and later inform the whole life story of the child. If there is interest, the couple will be introduced to the future adopted child and the process of bringing the child and new family together will begin.
If the relationship goes as expected, the child is released to move in with the new family, and the parents receive their provisional custody which will be valid until the process is completed. At the end of the process, the judge determines that the child’s new record be drawn up with the data of the new family, thus receiving the surname of his adoptive parents and all his rights as a biological child.
How to Create a Bond with your Adoptive Child?
The battle for adoption has ended and a new story will begin from this moment. The arrival of your adopted child will bring many changes to your life and in this new story every detail will make all the difference. The bond between mother / father and son will not happen instantly and it will take time to adapt to each other, as well as to create and find affinities and affection, love and admiration to be born in everyone’s heart.
In some cases women after the birth of their baby take a while to love their child, imagine after an adoption? The target point is not to charge yourself and not to demand a feeling that must be natural, let it happen by itself and enjoy “this romance”, this “achievement” in every second. Think of this adaptation period as the gestational phase, you are generating your adopted child and it will depend on each one of you for this story to happen.
Take the opportunity to spend as much time as possible with him, discover what he likes and dislikes and how they can have fun together. The law states that adoptive parents have maternity leave as well, but with different periods for each age group. For babies up to 1 year of age the mother will be entitled to 120 days, for children aged 1 to 4 years the mother will have 60 days and for those aged 4 to 8 years the period will be 30 days. It is not a long time, but it will be essential to get to know each other in detail, if they discover and start an eternal affective bond.
Remember, if it is difficult for your child, it is even more difficult. Fear, insecurity, the traumas of the past, especially in the beginning, will be very present and it will be your responsibility to provide security and show that there, with you, everything will be different. Talk to him a lot, show him that he can count on you for what he needs and always use your mother’s instinct. Show him that your mother’s lap is and will always be a safe place for him and that he can be reached whenever he wants. Good times and difficulties will arise, just as it would be with a biological child. Face it naturally, dedicate yourself and give yourself with all your heart. Motherhood is an adventure, be it in the “natural way” or through adoption, so don’t attribute the difficulties to the fact that your child is an adoptive. A child is a child, it does not come with an instruction manual, but just look in your eyes and it will be easy to see your soul. All they need is a lot of love, care and dedication, the rest happens naturally.
My name is Dr. Alexis Hart I am 38 years old, I am the mother of 3 beautiful children! Different ages, different phases 16 years, 12 years and 7 years. In love with motherhood since always, I found it difficult to make my dreams come true, and also some more after I was already a mother.
Since I imagined myself as a mother, in my thoughts everything seemed to be much easier and simpler than it really was, I expected to get pregnant as soon as I wished, but it wasn’t that simple. The first pregnancy was smooth, but my daughter’s birth was very troubled. Joana was born in 2002 with a weight of 2930kg and 45cm, from a very peaceful cesarean delivery but she had already been born with congenital pneumonia due to a broken bag not treated with antibiotics even before delivery.